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I am a short-order cook, making sure every tummy is full with good wholesome food such as Hamburger Helper, Kraft Mac and Cheese, Juice Boxes and Freeze Pops.  But most importantly I serve all my customers, with or without shoes and shirts, with kindness and a smile.

I am a nurse, wiping runny noses, cleaning scraped knees, scheduling appointments and kissing away the pain of sad and lonely days.  Always remembering to add in a few teaspoons of “tough love” along with the shots of “snap out of it.”

I am a social worker ensuring that no one goes to bed without feeling the warmth of being surrounded by arms of compassion. Helping those who feel hatred understand that tolerance amidst the chaos is the only possible solution.

I am a cop, always barking out orders but still keeping order. Giving out gentle warnings and harsh reprimands.  Explaining that the “bad people” could never hurt us because our house, our community, our state, our country is protected by brave and courageous people who would never allow any “monster” to grab us from under the bed.

I am a priest, listening to confessions in complete calmness while always offering fair and respectful penance. Vigilantly praying for the lost, visiting for the sick and lecturing the immoral.

I am a counselor, offering advice and a comfortable couch to anyone who needs to release the burden of a long day or a long life.  Offering my energy and sense of peace on a platter for them to devour and replace with their lack of passion and hope in order for it to be revitalized and refurbished.

I am a teacher, making sure role is called, homework is completed, and life lessons are learned on a moment-to-moment basis never losing track of my students or my lesson plans. Constantly looking out for bullies who may upset the community I have worked so hard to create in my global and constantly changing classroom.

I am a banker using creative financing, balancing multiple accounts and negotiating rates with credit card companies and children.  Daily handing out money, counting coins, cashing checks and giving faulty loans.

I am a lawyer constantly fighting for what is just and right in a world where those words seem to have lost meaning and value. Pleading cases before peer juries, arrogant judges, and fighting other lawyers, just like me, who believe that they too know what is true. Reminding women to be strong and they too can be a “one girl revolution.”

I am a maid constantly dusting, vacuuming, picking up underwear, emptying and refilling the dishwasher while walking around the house invisible to the occupants.  All the time, wondering and reflecting upon my day, the next task, and what this household would do if suddenly this non-paid employee suddenly vanished.

I am a mortician burying goldfish, geckos, and turtles while never truly revealing how the cat got “lost”. Always allowing the mourners time to mourn, pray, and recount the many blessing these family members provided.

I am a secret keeper, all-knowing of what is happening around me but forever hiding that sacred intimate knowledge even if at times it is overwhelming and painful. My shoulders are hunched over, not from age, but from years of keeping your secrets, your burdens, your lost hopes, your lost dreams, and your fears.

I am a writer of everything from “I love you” notes in lunch boxes to “please excuse” memos to co-workers in an attempt to cover any wounds and protect from further scratches.  Making sure that emails, texts, and Facebook  messages get answered with only encouragement and pure genuine care.

I am a marathon runner constantly training in order to win the race.  Sacrificing time, pushing away fans, collapsing in exhaustion, and defying my coach’s pleas for rest all because I…I have a goal…I have a dream…and I have to keep pushing because there is a race to win.

I am an artist whose canvas is life…who can do amazing things with a single crayon and some Play-Do. Who can make you believe that your painting on the refrigerator is worth more than the Mona Lisa?

I am a stockbroker…risking and waiting for the crash when I wake up in such pain that I am unable to lift my head and the light shining through the small crack in the blinds act as a knife slowly and methodically cutting open my skull….making me realize that yes, today, would be lost to another migraine…but tomorrow…tomorrow is another day.  But still investing everything I have in today.

I am a professional.  Working long hours, being passionate about my career, striving to be a role model to young people and leaping tall building in a single bound…

I am a coach always rooting for the underdog …always making sure that you believe in yourself and know that even if the candle is about to flicker for the last time, there will always be one last piece of wax to relight.

I am a caretaker.  Ensuring that the young and the old find peace in their beginnings and their endings.  That all those around me understand that carpe diem is not just a cliché but a way to grasp on to each day, breathe life into it and enjoy it.

I am a granddaughter, a daughter, a mother, a wife, a grandma, a woman.

Growing up as a middle-class teen in Chicago, I was raised believing that success meant being rich, living in a penthouse or a mansion in Park Ridge or Evanston.  You were a lawyer, a doctor, or a banker wearing fancy clothes, driving a cool car, and going on expensive vacations. I, on the other hand, was a child of a poor pastor and was jealous of all of my friends who had “successful” parents.  

As I continued to mature and go to college, I still had the same definition of success in my mind that my parents had ingrained into my skull.  Failure was not an option in my mind or my parents. I had to get good grades and act like a perfect pastor’s kid exhibiting high moral character at all times.  My parents view of success doesn’t differ from society’s view. According to Linda Zander, a success coach and contributor to Forbes Magazine, society defines success  “as a balanced achievement of wealth and well-being through consistently living the truth of ones’ grace-inspired values.”  So, I did everything possible to outwardly live that successful life for my parents while inwardly, I was unhappy and rebelling.  If my parents knew how I felt and what I was actually doing in my spare time, they would have said I was a “failure”.  

After years of living the definition of societal success, I found myself unhappy.  I didn’t want to be a failure – just the sound of that word is gross and disturbing.  Seriously, who wants to go around saying…”Hey, I am a failure. What about you?” I mean that’s just silly.  Of course, I want to hold my head high, flick my hair back and say “Yes, I am a huge success” But, I just couldn’t get over the fact that I felt like I was missing something in my life.  I remember reading a book called, What Color is Your Parachute by Richard Nelson Bolles.  The two main questions it wants you to reflect on are 1) What makes your heart happy? And 2) What makes your heart sad?  The book basically showed me that I loved working with teens and teaching. When I made the decision to redefine my view of success it made all the difference.  I went into debt because I needed to pay for a master’s degree. I went into panic mode because I had two kids and now had to quit my full-time marketing job making good money in order to student teach.  I went into defense mode as I had to constantly convince people that move was not an early mid-life crisis but something I was passionate about. I kept hearing “those who can do; those who can’t teach”. So I am a failure because I teach?  Oh ok, moron!

Although I grant you that many will disagree with me but in my mind, success is contributing to the community and world around you.  Success is being you. Failure is not living your truth. Failure is hiding behind what others want you to do.  We all have a choice. It took me until I was 30 to get the guts to live my truth. How long will it take you? Be brave!

 

 

 

Work Cited:

 

Christen, C. and Bolles, R. (2015). What color is your parachute? for teens. New York: Crown Publishing Group.

 

Zander, L. (2019). Council Post: Why Your Definition of Success Is Broken And Keeping You From Success. [online] Forbes.com. Available at: https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2018/02/14/why-your-definition-of-success-is-broken-and-keeping-you-from-success/#7abbf14ef47d.