On the fourth chapter, The rainy river, O’brien talks about shame and sees himself as a coward for entering the war. Now the question here is why would he be ashamed of himself when he’s fighting for his country? Did other soldiers feel this way as well? Here’s my take on all of this.
O’brien did not believe in war. He did not see it as a necessity for peace. He didn’t want to kill anyone regardless of their race or opinions on war and ‘justice’. He was a strong advocate for all of this . But when he was drafted into the army, even tho he still stood by his morals and opinions and so badly wanted to run away to Canada, he didn’t and instead joined the army. He was ashamed of himself because he did not stand up for what was right from his point of view. He was ashamed because he came to the realization that he’s not as strong as he thought he was. He was ashamed because he would rather go against his own morals and values to be deemed as a hero than to be known as a coward for running away to Canada, Even tho he knew deep down that’s exactly what he was.
It’s honestly upsetting to think about how many other soldiers felt this way, only they didn’t get to live to tell their stories and come clean. We like to believe every soldier died in the most honorable way and of course we believe that because to die like that for your country and people is one of the most honorable things a person can do but it’s unfortunate that most of them died with the feeling of shame and cowardice surrounding them. They didn’t see themselves as martyrs or heroes.
So what is the true relationship between shame and courage?
“It was not courage, exactly; the object was not valor, Rather, they were too frightened to be cowards.” ~ O’brien
I think this quote by O’brien perfectly describes that. Sometimes, its the shame and fear that brings out the courage in us. The shame and fear of not standing up for what’s right. The shame and fear of not staying true to ourselves. The shame and fear of being ashamed and afraid of ourselves and our desicions. Sometimes you HAVE to be ashamed, afraid, angry etc. to the point where you HAVE to do what you think is right because none of us want to be cowards. None of us want to feel like we’ve failed ourselves.
I think one of the most important messages from this chapter and O’brien’s take on shame and courage is that no matter what, we must stay true to ourselves and fight for what we believe is right. It’s better to be known as a ‘coward’ but be at peace with ourselves and our decisions than to be called a hero yet live a life full of shame like O’brien did. You matter more. You matter most.
I really like how you said that we like to think that every soldier died in an honorable way, because you’re right. I also agree with the part that you talked about how, shame and fear bring out he courage in us. I think a lot of us, especially in high school we carry a lot of shame and fear with us because we want to feel like we belong in a place. since we want to feel like that, we do a lot of things that eventually lead to courage.
I also chose this prompt for my blog as well. I completely agree with you that he was ashamed of himself because he didn’t stand up for what he believed was right. That he’d rather not deal with his family and everybody he knows looking down on him. And I also agree that when we hear about soldiers that have lost their lives in war we think of them as heroes but what did the soldier think of them self. And it is better to be at peace with your self even if it’s going against what your family believes in or people you know. If you don’t stand for what you believe is right then you will feel like you’ve let yourself down.