Welcome to second semester senior year everyone! I don’t know if it’s just me, but this still feels unreal. I remember so clearly what it was like to be an incoming freshman. Needless to say, I was terrified of just about everything. The crowded halls, seemingly huge students, overwhelming course selection options and the general amount of change in the situation scared me. Now I’m facing a similar experience that I did then. Looking forward to the future, there is the same amount of change on the horizon, and it’s making me revisit all the old feelings of four years ago, along with some new ones. Get ready for a deep dive into what I’m feeling about the beginning of the end of high school.

It’s not often everyone around you is sharing the same experience as you. Looking around, it’s interesting to see all of my classmates take on this portion of senior year in a different way. Whether they handle their lack of motivation through blaming a mysterious illness called senioritis or just simply calling in sick, there are varying approaches to senior year. Personally, I’m trying (sometimes unsuccessfully) to stave off senioritis by trying to ignore the fact that graduation is on the horizon. Sometimes though, I get to thinking about what’s coming, and honestly, it’s a lot for me to handle.

Maybe I’m alone in this, but the thought of leaving home in 7 months is equal parts exciting and terrifying. One part of me is ready to take on a new stage of life full of independence and life away from home for the first time. On the other hand, there’s a lot of hesitation. The more I sit back and think about it all, the more I realize how little I know beyond what it’s like to live here. I’ve spent the past 8 years in Naperville establishing close friends and growing up. I learned how to drive here, got my first job here, experienced my greatest heartbreaks and greatest victories. Almost all of my life’s biggest milestones have been here, and now it’s about to be time to leave it all behind. While it’s exciting to be going forward into a new place where new memories can be made and new milestones can be reached, the unknown is more than a little scary. 

I think it’s safe to say that I’m feeling all of these things because I’m about to enter a new chapter where things are no longer going to be comfortable. I’m comfortable here, where the streets hold the memories of running and biking as an elementary schooler. I’m comfortable here with the teammates that turned into my family, in the school where I’ve learned and grown for the past 4 years. Part of stepping into this new chapter is leaving behind the comfort that has surrounded us in our childhood years, cushioning us as we make the mistakes pivotal to our development. Going off to school requires that we leave the cushion behind, trusting that we know enough to pick ourselves up again when we fall down. 

So, while I’m constantly looking forward to all the new environments and people that are about to enter my life, I sometimes have to remind myself to pause and look around. This is the last time that we’re all going to be together in the same place, sharing the final months of our high school year. Instead of being too sad about leaving, though, let’s all remember to take the time to look around and soak in these final moments so we can take them with us when change inevitably comes.