The chairs had to be perfectly set up, blankets laid exactly right. It had to be cozy, but enough there had to be enough room. My pillow fort was my castle. I was the princess.
Stroke after stroke. I laid the color on the sidewalk. Scribbles became masterpieces. The chalk was my brush. I was the artist.
Running through the grass, into the trees. I was in a new world. My feet hit the ground, forcing me forward.
Fresh air.
My childhood felt like it was out of a movie. Seemingly unrealistic events that will forever set in my memory. A childhood of knocking on doors, begging peers to come out and play. Creating whole other worlds just from our imaginations. A stick could be a sword. A slipper could be a ballerina shoe.
As magical as it seemed, I don’t ever think about it. I take my childhood for granted. What I learned growing up not only made who I am today but also gave me a ground to base judgments on to this day. Being a senior, it feels like this is all coming to an end. That I am closer to an adult than a child. I know what you’re thinking, “we still have time”, “it’s too soon to be thinking like that”, “Don’t be so dramatic”. You’re right. It can make someone miserable to have to sit and reflect. It can cause one to miss out on what is going on. Live in the moment.
Don’t be scared of reflection, however. The balance is important. Knowing where you came from allows you to know where you’re going. That’s why I wanted to write this now, before senior year is over. If we can learn the balance we won’t feel so left behind. Think about what has already happened this year; running through the halls on the first day, homecoming, football season, fall sports, college applications. We have five more weeks of the first semester. Five, then four, then three, then two, then one. Then it’s already halfway over. It’s going fast, and yes I know I’m probably freaking someone out, but this is our reality. Soak it in.
So, what do you want to do with this year? What will help make the most of it?
Personally, I want every second. I want to learn about myself and others, I want to grow and discover. I want to try new things and explore what else there is to do. I joined Orchesis without having taken a step on a stage. I challenge you to confront yourself, step out of your comfort zone.
Take a look at this TED talk to think about living in the moment: https://www.ted.com/talks/matt_killingsworth_want_to_be_happier_stay_in_the_moment?language=en#t-51327
So as great as it is to look back at all these years we’ve spent growing, we’re only able to look back fondly because we lived in the moment and made it something worth looking back on.
What are you going to think of your senior year five years from now?
Hey Elly,
I really like the message of your blog because I can totally relate to it. After my tennis season ended in the fall, I felt overwhelmed because it really hit me that I would never be able to experience that again. Just like you, my goal this year is to enjoy every second of it before it’s gone. I’ve tried to be more in the moment in my day to day life and incorporating as many fun things as I can into my life instead of just stressing about school. I loved watching the Ted Talk you linked because it reinforced my own belief that living in the moment is bound to make us more happy and benefit our mental health.
I hope when I look back on my senior year, that I can truly say that I lived in the moment and did everything possible to enjoy every second of it, instead of stressing about the future.
Though I hated that picture of the feet submerged in the grassy mud puddle of disgust, I really loved the message you conveyed with your blog lol. I think, as seniors, so much of this year is spent looking back for college applications, to say goodbyes and reminisce, to plan out our futures, and etc. that it’s easy to forget the moments we still have left. We’re at a point where everything is changing and the future’s uncertain demands attention, but this is a good reminder that we are the masters of our own fate and need to grasp on to that autonomy of choice for as long as we can. For whatever reason, your ending really resonates with something deep inside me, making me want to say yes to things more often and milk what little time we have left for everything it’s got.