i like grapes.

grapes are to be eaten with the mouth and not the hand because the hand is nothing but a spider with a tennis ball on top of a water bottle in the summer heat but really it isnt summer because summer is just an illusion when the weather flips between snow and the flicker of a computer screen yesterday i played six games of league of legends in which eric wang would not stop pressing the w key god damn it stop taking the minions with your soul sand crap im just trying to farm cant you understand someone from new york sent an email around two days ago or was it vernon hills and it is a literal book i still have not responded to it why is it that we still have to do work during the e learning period the hamlet essay that was due a while back is still not done because i have not done it but what is the point of doing the essay if the essay is not due until the end when is the end that sounds kinda dark but not really im just talking about the point at which the second derivative slope on my stock portfolio turns positive please just give me a positive return if amc doesnt go bankrupt id buy it right now but the weekends are terrifying for downturns or outpours of rain in which the rain isnt actually rain but rather its just grape soda yesterday we bought a significant amount of fanta and the fanta is very nice but not exactly the nicest when it comes to the pyramid of healthy foods that they list on the doctors wall during the doctors visit in which you have a bunch of bread on the bottom just like the midwest is built out of wheat it is kind of unfair how other states get to have mountains that go up so high while driving is kind of like a roller coaster but actually it isnt because the roller coaster is just a hill that leads to antarctica has lots of penguins and orca whales but i believe that it is the orca whales who eat the penguins to eat the fish and i dont really know what fish eat maybe the eat the worms that the people feed them while fishing so in reality if you think about it the food chain is just the people who create the worms not biologically but taking them out of the ground and feeding them to the fish who enjoy the worms because they are not vegetarians i am not a vegetarian because i like to eat my mcdonalds apparently the mcdonalds is closed so that is a bit unfortunate i got a shamrock shake before the quarantine and it was green before and it is green now because that was around march sixth did you know that yesterday i lost six games of league of legends i blame it on michael because he wasnt there to carry our team with his tree and that is likely because the tree is too op i heard that you can get a valorant game key by watching certain streamers then what if you kept twitch open for the next seven days on around fifteen different streamers what would the probability of getting a key be for the past few days our stats teacher has still been giving us stats assignments apparently we have a test in that class but i dont understand the point of having a test i require someone to assist me in taking a test but only in the most academically integrity based manner possible if you play three games of league of legends at eighty eight lp with a guaranteed one free win from your last promos lost you are guaranteed to get into gold if you win all three i think thats what i should do because the last time i played three games i lost them because i suck at ad carry that role is very difficult especially when there is a morgana that keeps on pressing the god damn w button im just trying to farm maybe ill switch to a tft main i heard that mini brian is currently diamond in tft wow that sounds like a lot of big brain though and its senior year second semester i dont have enough mental energy for big brain moves woo hoo the new york times crossword is very difficult sometimes i play it with cali friend like today but even when we were working together we still got six and seven minutes respectively maybe we just suck at english but not we because its likely just me not knowing words english is difficult i like grapes.

JO JO

*violin instrumental*

~ golden wind ~

*more violin instrumental*

JO JO

*violin instrumental*

~ golden wind ~

*more violin instrumental*

Ahhhhhhhh, quarantine is shit redacted. 

Imagine writing a blog that isn’t about the coronavirus. Nah, actually that kind of sounds like a lot of work. Besides, blogs are fake. 

The Minecraft server shut down a few days ago, and I have lost all purpose in life. Really, that server was the only thing tying me down to reality. I have lost track of how many weeks it’s been. I count days in oreo packs and tp rolls. My sleep schedule is a solid 4am to 2pm. I swear to God when Trow was like “Hey y’all let’s have a zoom conference at 1pm to check in!!!” I was like: bruh, we need to be more inclusive of the barn-owl sleep pattern.

JO JO

*trap music mixed with violin instrumental*

~ golden wind ~

*snare drum with more violin instrumental*

Ewang wrote his blog on league of legends. While he is far from his Faker-esque self-portrayal, tbh he’s improving fast as hell. I guess league is just like bio: after grinding 10 hours per day, even an absolute tuna can learn the passable basics. (Jk wang, u kno i love u. Just not your Karthus support. That redacted is corona).

Oh my God I think that Hamlet paper is due this week. I’m about 23 years behind on AP Lit Homework. I wish AP Lit was like Stats class, where you can just find the answers in the back of the book and copy paste them into the homework checks. I can’t even copy off of someone because writing is supposed to be unique (and turn-it-in will bust my redacted). 

Speaking about creativity, Brian was freaking out about the Creative rubric. He was like “bruh the creative rubric is hard as hell.” Idk if that’s possible?? Like how are you going to dock points on creativity? Over the summer, I visited the MOMA, and there was one exhibit where it was just a blank canvas. What if I submitted that for the Creative? I could attach a description like “wOaH the minimalist nature of this project questions the empirical nature of the Renaissance and their fleeting pursuits of concrete answers. After all, if the answer is subjective, is there an answer at all?” 

Now doesn’t that sound poetic? 

Poetry is fake. 

JO JO

*trap music mixed with violin instrumental*

~ golden wind ~

*snare drum with more violin instrumental*

If I copy-paste this line enough times, I think I’ll have enough content to hit the 600 word mark. I think some people actually put a lot of effort into writing a cohesive blog. Lmao, rip. Imagine trying to write a creative, informative, and engaging blog for every assignment. Bruh that’s like a common app. I stg I do not have the brain capacity for that. My attention span has just been dropping since January, and especially since the quarantine started. 

Oh, by the way, if you’re this far, remember to SUBSCRIBE TO PHYSICS DONE PHAST. PHYSICS DONE PHAST IS A YOUTUBE CHANNEL THAT’LL SATIATE ALL YOUR MOTION AND MATTER-BASED DESIRES WITH FREE, FOCUSED, AND FACTUAL PHYSICS CONTENT.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOjnndPveFarl-YNIolL3EQ

It’s Anti-Blab certified!

I went outside for the first time in a week. It was terrible. Everything was freezing and the sun was wayy too bright. Someone needs to put a night-light filter on that thing. I went outside because Stephanie and Marissa came to deliver green cake. Stephanie is making baked goods and delivering them around the neighborhood. She’s like the quarantine ice cream truck but for pastries.

The same JoJo theme song has been playing on loop this entire time. I’m starting to get sick of it. I should probably turn down the volume too. 

Pritzker called the quarantine days “Act of God” days, in which there is no e-learning required by schools, and any assignments are guaranteed to not damage a student’s academic standing. Does that mean any additional work is optional? Or can teachers pull the: hA i aSsIgNeD iT BEfoRe THe bReAk bs. If that’s the logic we’re using, literally any assignment that was remotely mentioned on the calendar or syllabus can be made due and for a grade. Whatever, I guess I’ll create passable versions of required assignments. At this point I’m honestly just trying not to get rescinded.

WAIT!! My friend in Cali just texted me saying that her school might follow university policy and make grades pass/fail. I swear if they make grading like that, can we just have pass/fail too??? Can I pass stats without turning in anymore homework checks? WAIT YEAH I CAN WTF IF THERE ARE NO MORE SUMMATIVE ASSIGNMENTS I CAN redacted PASS STATS NOW!!!!

Holy shit this is amazing.

Alright, I’m going to talk to Cali friend a bit more about this subject. Cya for now! 

Adios~

Zach