Alright, so the title is kind of a clickbait. To those of you who didn’t speak to me prior to my writing of this blog post, it’s likely that whatever expectation you have of what the next 600-700 words will be about… are wrong.
In the era of face masks, it’s become a rarity that we see below the nose bridges of those around us (with the exception of close friends and family, of course). SOme of you guys are double-masking again: I see y’all, and I appreciate you guys. Surrounded by a sea of masks, we’ve entered a new Victorian era of modesty – except this time, it’s not the bare skin of an ankle that incites scandal, it’s the exposed septum of someone who, even after two-years’ worth of quarantine, hasn’t yet grasped proper mask-wearing etiquette.
“A surprise mustache. Literally traumatizing.” -Senior Source I Will Not Name
When you think about it, masks (the literal ones, not the figurative ones that require a whole separate article to break down) hide a lot. Piercings, tragic Quarantine Facial Hair, obnoxiously colored lipstick (we’re talking green, orange, neon yellow), a non-Aryan nose. You know, if you’re racist. These listed items may or may not be horrifying to some of the readers here.
Life’s become a masquerade ball, except it’s way less flamboyant-slash-fruity. You think you know the people you’re going to school with, or the folks you see at work pretty regularly throughout the week, because seeing, like, a forehead and eyes (hopefully two eyes) is enough to basically formulate an entire hypothetical face. And then one day, you’re glancing over, and that guy or gal next to you with the patterned black mask is pulling it down for ten seconds to get a drink of water, and-
Shock.
Disappointment.
A subversion of idealized expectations.
In extreme scenarios, maybe this specific thought: oh, you’re ugly as sin.
And then you’re hit with the existential question presented to you by your disappointment at someone not being as attractive as you anticipated them to be. The infamous oh my god, am I a bad person? When interviewed regarding this inevitable phenomenon, here’s what an anonymous source from the graduating class of ‘22 had to say.
“For me, it’s not even a matter of disappointment, just sheer shock. It usually happens with men. YOU HAD A WHOLE BEARD HIDING UNDER THERE? And they have the audacity to say women wearing makeup is catfishing. I’m just kidding, some of my best friends are men with facial hair. I did have the opportunity to test this phenomenon though. For example, my brother lives out of state, so I don’t typically see him with a mask. The first time I’d visited him in a while, he walked up to me wearing one, and I’m usually used to perceiving him with a beard, but he looked totally clean shaven. So I ask him about it and he pulls down his mask, revealing said beard that was totally concealed before. I guess, what I’m trying to say is, it can be baffling how different masks make people look, but there’s nothing inherently wrong with that. As long as you don’t make a big deal about it.”
By now, “maskfishing” is probably a vocabulary term that you’ve tossed around in conversations now and then. Deriving the same sentiments as “catfishing,” the word is used to describe a person who doesn’t look the way you expected them to when they take their mask off. Usually, they’re less attractive than you thought they’d be. Honestly, this isn’t your fault. The entire phenomenon of maskfishing is rooted in the expectation that those around you fit into Western standards of “beauty.”
Basically, maskfishing sets up failure for all parties involved. You were doomed the second you started making assumptions as to what someone’s nose, mouth, chin, and cheeks looked like. And if you already knew what their nose looked like when you weren’t supposed to, that’s a red flag already.
Being disappointed when someone doesn’t look the way you expected – or more like, hoped – for them doesn’t inherently make you a bad person. Is it an opportunity for growth? Absolutely. Probably not just for you, the reader, but for us as a society.
“It’s okay if you are a little surprised. Societal beauty standards and expectations are way too high. It doesn’t make you a bad person – at least that’s what I tell myself every time I see certain people,” said Anonymous Source.
If you’ve ever felt disappointed by what you see when someone pulls down their mask, don’t worry. Out in the world, there’s probably a person who felt the same way about you.
HA! Zea this blog is amazing and insanely underappreciated. I LOVE what you had to say and I honestly haven’t related to something so much in my entire life. Although I have to say I never feel bad for thinking that people look different when I see their entire face. I mean yes, for sure, was I maybe imagining a more… attractive? lower face than what I saw in reality? … ok I’m totally a bad person nevermind. But also, I want to take a moment to shed some light on when people actually DO look like you imagined them to look underneath their mask. It has happened more than one time where I catch a glance of a person unmasked, and my imaginary cast of their face matches exactly with what I thought it would be. The rush of accomplishment I’ve felt, like winning a game I made up against myself, is incomparable. And even furthermore, what about when people look SO MUCH BETTER than what you thought they did?? Like I’m sorry but secret beard?? Sometimes not the worst thing in the world. If you know, you know.
Once again, another banger blog post. I love how you’ve combined your sense of humor with interesting social commentary. I feel like people have only begun to scratch the surface with the topic of “maskfishing”, so I’m really glad you did a deep dive on this subject and the moral ambiguity surrounding it. This story was extremely relatable–I too have had my fair share of unmasked surprises. Every time I’m left wondering if I really am THAT superficial. Especially over the summer when the mask mandate was temporarily lifted in businesses–my poor coworkers. I’m sure they felt the same way about me though. I also loved that you included an interview in this piece. It was almost like the anonymous senior source’s words were coming straight out of my mouth! They were extremely insightful and funny too, I hope they make more appearances in future blogs 😉 Basically my feelings toward this post are: I’m glad someone finally said it, so that perhaps I can finally sleep at night again. Cheers to your next post!
That was a very interesting read! It is always sort of a shock when you first see someone’s face and it has made me wonder how other people have been seeing me, especially with people I just started talking to during this period of time where neither of us have seen each other without the mask on. I do find it funny how it’s become sort of “scandalous” to have your nose be seen (which it is—I’ve seen way too many people who don’t understand masks and walk around the hallway nose uncovered). I remember receiving a shock when I would see one of my teachers take their mask off briefly to drink water. Like your anonymous source, it’s not really a bad surprise or disappointment for me (or maybe it’s so bad I go through the five stages of grief immediately), but it definitely is a shock to see a face. Maybe I’ve just been imagining the mask as their face at this point? I think it’s kind of fun finding out what people look like under their mask.