Monthly Archives: November 2021

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Where Might I Find You?

My favorite question to ask strangers and people that I know well is if you could travel anywhere in the world, cost of no concern, where would you like to go and what would you want to do? This question can reveal a lot about a person, as I learned when I posed it to a classmate a couple of years ago. He wanted to go somewhere warm and tropical, wake up at eleven in the morning, spend the whole day at the beach, and repeat. I looked at him in shock. Don’t get me wrong, I love the beach and warm weather, but to spend your whole day at the beach, (which isn’t really even a whole day if you get up at eleven in the morning), would get boring after three days for me. Where is the sightseeing? The hikes? Trying new food? 

To give a little bit of context, the vacations I am used to are jam-packed with activities. By dinner time, I have walked 25,000 steps and am ready to hit the haystacks at nine o’clock. This routine is a little extreme, I will be the first to admit that having ventured on multiple vacations where every day is like this. However, I do like to keep busy while on the road, I think it adds an element of adventure.  

And so, I present you with the answer to my own question. If I could travel anywhere in the world I would take a trip to Bhutan. 

Why Bhutan you might ask? As a self-proclaimed tree hugger, I was highly intrigued by Bhutan’s title as the world’s first carbon-negative country on Earth. This means that Bhutan absorbs more CO2 than it emits. In fact, a clause exists in the country’s constitution stating that at least sixty percent of the land must remain forested. If you would like to learn more about Bhutan’s commitment to carbon negativity, I would highly recommend watching this Ted Talk given by Former Prime Minister Tshering Tobgay.

As for where I would actually like to visit, number one on the list is Paro Taktsang, more commonly known as Tiger’s Nest Monastery. From the town of Paro, Tiger’s Nest is a 2-hour long hike including more than 2,6000 feet of vertical elevation, but the hike is well worth it to visit one of the holiest locations in Bhutan! Tiger’s Nest was constructed in 1692 (although it has undergone several renovations since then), located near the caves where Guru Rinpoche first meditated, which sparked the spread of Buddhism around the country. Tiger’s Nest continues to function as a monastery. 

Next up would be the town of Punakha. Nestled on the banks of the rivers Mo and Pho, Punakha is also the home of Punakha Dzong, a 17th-century fortress that served as the meeting place of the First National Assembly in 1953. Punakha is also the location of the annual Punakha Tshechu festival, a religious festival characterized by masked dances and traditional music. Definitely a cultural event worth planning a trip around. 

To round out my list, I must include a hike through the Mountain of Jomolhari. Although it is not the tallest peak in the country, it is the most widely traversed by tourists, and can thus balance my need for adventure and creature comforts. Apart from the breathtaking natural landscape, I gather that wild yaks can be spotted along the hiking trails. If that isn’t a reason to visit Bhutan, I don’t know what is. 

That’s my location of choice. What’s yours? 

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Listen Up, it’s Time to Talk About Listening

NYT Writing Prompt Number 237: Are We Losing the Art of Listening? 

Short Answer? Yes.

As a person who has been told that I have a lot of things to say, I found this prompt particularly compelling among the sea of other thought-provoking prompts. As much as I would like to say that the collective “we” of society have not let go of this crucial facet of conversation-making, of existence in general, (if “we” are really trying to be pretentious), I would be lying to myself if I did.  

Teenagers might be the most guilty of not listening. Growing up in a world of technology has created a landscape of phone addiction. I am not saying that Millennials, Gen X, and beyond have not harbored an affinity for their portable devices, they have, however, generally it is not the centerpiece of their interpersonal lives. My mom doesn’t know how half of the apps on her phone work, and she texts people to arrange times to meet in person. On the other hand, I have arranged the apps on my phone into neat folders of decreasing importance and regularly rely on texting and calling as a primary means of communication. My mom forgets where she puts her phone, and I am never with it, fighting the urge to check it in the middle of a conversation when I hear the buzz of a notification. 

It is socially acceptable to glance down at a phone during the middle of a conversation, expected even of teenagers. While there are occurrences in which notifications might take precedence over real-life conversation, the vast majority of those notifications are of meager importance. The moment someone takes out their phone during a conversation, their attention is diverted. They are no longer listening to the speaker, that is an extremely invalidating feeling. I can personally attest to the disappointment I have felt while talking to someone, pulling out their phone mid-conversation to look at a notification, putting it back, and saying “I’m sorry, what were you saying?” 

When I read this prompt, I immediately thought of a Ted Talk given by Celeste Headlee, a radio journalist, and public speaker. (Watch it here! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1vskiVDwl4 ) Her talk centered on 10 specific ways to have better, more meaningful conversations. Her most important tip is listening. Humans can interpret more information when they listen versus when they are talking, and thus the easier option is just to speak. In my favorite line of the talk, Headlee explains, “… it takes effort and energy to actually pay attention to someone. But if you can’t do that, you’re not in a conversation. You’re just two people shouting out barely related sentences in the same place.” 

I think that this quote gets to the core of the issue for me. I often fall into the trap of blabbing my head off in order to fill uncomfortable silences. If my blabbing sparks some interesting topic of conversation, I will be thinking about what I want to say next. The moment I do that, I stop listening and have become a person shouting barely related sentences. Such occurrences occur outside the realm of my personal life. One of the most glaring examples of the situation Headlee describes is Socratic seminars. Over the course of my high school career, I have yet to be in a Socratic seminar that feels like an actual conversation. People come in with their list of notes and page numbers and will find a place to insert their pre-prepared statement even if it only vaguely relates to the actual topic of the conversation. As long as it gets them their points they are happy. I fear that this is the trend conversations are steering towards. Less of a marketplace of thoughts and ideas, more of a podium to say your piece. The conversation is the vector of understanding and finding a middle ground. That is something that cannot be lost just because people find listening to take too much effort.