Everyone is watching me, judging and talking about me behind my back. I bounce my leg up and down fast to get some of my nerves out, but it never works. I walk fast through halls and don’t make eye contact. Big groups of people scare me. I try to clean my room and I don’t know if I should start with the clothes on the ground, make my bed, or the empty water bottles on my nightstand. Everything is overwhelming and I don’t know what to do. My food is not allowed to touch and if I go to an Italian restaurant and the menu is in cursive I get stressed. The more things that give me this feeling the more I shake and my eyes begin to water. I can’t breathe. My chest gets tight and I can’t move. My anxiety has taken over and my reality is gone. 

I have always had very bad anxiety. It controlled every aspect of my life and dictated what I would do and who I would interact with. I felt like I was hiding every day from being myself because anything I would do gave me anxiety. Sometimes I would isolate myself and other times I would have an attitude as a defense mechanism. I tried to hide my feelings so no one would know what I was struggling with. My anxiety would get so bad that I would cancel plans last minute because I was scared to go out and be around a bunch of people. Many people told me that my anxiety was not an excuse and I should stop blaming my problems on it. When people say that, not only does it hurt but they don’t know what it is like. People without anxiety don’t know what it is like to be a prisoner to yourself. 

Some people say anxiety is not an excuse and that people should not blame their problems on their anxiety. Lauren Jo Sypniewski made it very clear in her article, Stop Using Your Mental Diagnosis As An Excuse, that people need to stop using their mental diagnosis as a way to get out of things. She says, “Every person possesses free will or agency or the ability to make choices or whatever you’d like to term the phenomenon. This means — shocker — that you are in control of your life and the actions that set your life in motion”. Well — shocker — it’s not that easy. You can’t just wake up and be like “oh I’m not going to have anxiety today because well, I just don’t feel like it”. Or even look at something and think about something that gives you anxiety and say “LOL screw that!” No that’s not how it works. Over time you can learn how to deal with anxiety and other mental health problems but you will never be able to move on with a snap of your fingers. 

If things are going great and your handling everything that would normally give you anxiety really well, something could trigger it and bring you back to the starting line. I have become much better at controlling my anxiety instead of letting it control me, but every once in awhile it gets really bad to the point where I’m canceling plans and trying to get out of going to school. I have pushed myself to go out and socialize with people even though people are what gives me the most anxiety. Sometimes it works and I have fun, but other times it’s too much and I break down as I’m heading home. 

Mental illness does not have a button that you can press to make it turn off. It takes time to learn how to overcome it. Anxiety is an excuse because why cause yourself to have more anxiety when you can take your time to learn how to control it in your own way. Saying that mental health is not an excuse is easy for someone to say that doesn’t have any issues. Society needs to be more empathetic for those with anxiety because they don’t know what it is like and how much we struggle. 

There have been countless of times my friends and family have told me that my anxiety was not a big deal and that I just had to get over it. When they said that, it made me feel like I had to hide this terrible thing about myself. Now I only talk about my anxiety to people I really trust because I’m scared of how others will react. I have been burned by criticism about my anxiety from others, and I would never wish that on anyone else. I wished everyone was more understanding and supportive for years. I know that if I had more support systems I’m my life for my anxiety growing up, it would not have been as bad as it once was. 

How will criticizing someone’s anxiety make it better? Let me tell you a little secret. Judging someone’s anxiety and telling them that it is not a reason for something will not make it any better. People need to be more supportive of those with anxiety because an unnecessary opinion will not decrease their anxiety. If our society was more understanding of anxiety then maybe fewer people would have anxiety problems. 

The article It’s OK to Have Anxiety, explains how having anxiety is natural and something that should be embraced. Michael Hendrick says, “It’s OK to feel like you’re about to explode from panic and it’s OK to have to leave a situation if it makes you uncomfortable.” Removing yourself out of a situation to stop yourself from having anxiety is okay. Why would someone go to a party if it will just give them anxiety rather than them having fun? We are only in this world for so long, and life shouldn’t be filled with anxiety controlling you. But until you learn how to cope with anxiety it is okay to back out of plans last minute if it will decrease your anxiety. 

Anxiety is very difficult to live with. Many people don’t understand how it works or the feeling. There are many obstacles that will increase someone’s anxiety, and it takes time for everyone with anxiety to learn how to deal with it in the best way for them. So instead of judging and pushing people with anxiety, people need to be more empathetic. Try and put yourself in their shoes and help them through their journey of control over their anxiety. It just makes anxiety worse when someone says “get over it” or “it’s not that big of a deal, your fine”. 

Instead of making people feel alone and ashamed of their anxiety and any other mental diagnosis, we all need to show more support and help them. The more we embrace anxiety and other mental illnesses, the more we can help people struggling in our society. The more understanding people are to anxiety, the quicker someone can learn to control their anxiety. People with anxiety will no longer feel alone. They will feel like others care about them even with a mental illness. Society’s empathy can help people process their anxiety. Empathy and support can save someone from their anxiety. 

As bad as my anxiety is, I am grateful for how it has molded me into the person I am today. I am extremely paranoid, but that makes me think before I act much more than someone else. I have grown so much with my anxiety, and I have learned how to control it. I have such a great support system for my anxiety and I know that I can count on my family and friends to get me out of my head. I sympathize with those who are struggling alone or with others. It is okay to have anxiety and it is okay to struggle and be afraid of it. Anxiety is just another feature in us that makes us human. 

https://suindependent.com/stop-using-mental-diagnosis-excuse/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/its-ok-to-have-anxiety/