Month: February 2020

CARD COUNTING!!!!

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Image result for The casino vegas

The casino, a maniacal overlord that no one can ever hope to beat. Due to my love of risk and chance, along with quite a lot of good luck, I plan to spend at least a bit of time in Vegas when I’m 21, I mean c’mon it basically a rite of passage. Now, I know what you guys are all saying, “MATAS THE CASINO IS A LIE YOU’RE GOING TO LOSE ALL YOUR MONEY.” If you are thinking this, I appreciate it a lot actually thanks for looking out for me, but I’m sorry to say, that you’re wrong. Here’s where another one of my favorite things in life comes in, doing things that are highly frowned upon, yet not illegal.

Of course, the idea that I’m talking about it Counting cards, using statistics in order to beat one of the most popular games in the world, Blackjack. Now for those who don’t know, Blackjack is a table card game played at the casino, where it is you vs. the dealer. You are never up against another casino goer like yourself. The nature of the game is to have the dealer hand you hard, and you can either hit or stand (Numbered cards are their number, Face is 10, Ace is 11 or 1 depending on what you want). The goal is to attempt to get your cards as close to 21 as possible, without going over. If you go over, you bust. Now you see, the trick for the casino lies in the fact that you have to do everything before the dealer, because of this, even if you play perfectly (there is a guide on wiki for what to do when you get any card) you are guaranteed only a 49% edge against the casino. Meaning if you put in 100 dollars, the casino will end up with 1, and you will end with 99. You should always lose money, that’s how casinos work.

Image result for blackjack

Yet remember, this is cards, cards have probabilities, probabilities can be abused. In order for people to not revolt against the casino, there is one rule put into place for the dealer, if they get equal to or over a 17, they must stand, and stop. Meaning if you get anything from a 17-21, you have good chances. Along with this, the dealer must hit until they reach 17, putting them in a good position to go over 21. The very last rule I must mention is that getting a perfect 21, usually with an ace card and a face card, gives you 2.5 times payout, rather than the regular 2x. And this is why magic can happen.

Card counting is the numerical tracking of the cards used in a deck when playing blackjack, in order to maximize your chances of getting a 21. The basic premise is, if you know all the low number cards are out of the deck, then the cards you get are much higher and have a significantly higher chance of netting you a solid 21. This system can actually increase the odds of gaining money to 55%, in reality, Blackjack is THE ONLY game that you can guarantee an edge over the casino.

YET I MUST MENTION A LOT OF THINGS.

1. Guys, this is gambling, there’s no guarantee in anything, don’t go too crazy, don’t get too drunk, this is a corporation trying to steal your money, they know what you’re doing, don’t let your guard down.

2.None of us are 21, remember that you gotta be of age to gamble, so use these years to master card counting at home rather than wasting your time with something like a job, or education. (Tis a joke feel free to get an education)

3.Although card counting is not illegal, it is HIGHLY frowned upon. Imagine having the audacity to use your brain while gambling, in order to actually have an edge over the casino. You can’t go to prison, but beatings from the casino after getting caught, although rare, are not unheard of, and they can also ban you from the casino permanently.

 

Now, the reason for writing this blog is not so that you guys will go to a casino and card count, I just find the topic fascinating. Movies like 21, and The Hangover have popularized card counting, and to be honest, I think casinos are terrifying as a corporation. If you do have an interest in a systematic way to beat a casino, there are a lot of videos that explain everything much better than I do. Along with this, there are more rules to Blackjack, and I simply am not experienced enough to explain them all. If things like playing a risky game to make some money and beat the casino get your blood boiling as they do for me, I suggest doing some research, but other than that, there is no real point to my blog. I just like card counting!

Image result for guy counting cards

Why You Should Place a Ballista on Top of your Home

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Ballistas, for those who don’t know, this was a type of ancient siege weapon that used tension to fire extremely large bolts of wood through, or at city walls. After creating a Ballista for Research and Design, I now firmly believe that owning or a large scale ballista would be extremely beneficial for peoples day to day life.

Image result for ballista

 

  • Fun Family Project

 

You see in research and design we made a very small ballista, in two weeks. On the other hand, I’m sure some research somewhere shows that people don’t spend enough time with their families. I believe Ballistas are the answer. What binds together a family more than a large multipurpose project? Nothing!

 

  • Protection

 

If you have one of these things on top of your house, let’s be honest here, no one is going to approach your property. Do the thing that older people love doing, such as sitting on their porch watching people walking their dog, or speeding down the road, except do in next to a Ballista. I can almost guarantee that this will make your neighborhood more safe than it’s ever been. Along with this, with everyone participating in senior assassins, a mounted ballista on your roof would be the perfect defense. Just place a water balloon in the place where a 20 Pound bolt would go, and then from the safety of your roof fire away at your enemies. Along with this, a life-size ballista could also be used for most creative kill.

Image result for castle with balista

 

  • Aesthetic Appeal

 

Let’s be honest here, a lot of people go to Europe to see castles, as they are one of the greatest forms of architecture to ever exist. What do castles have… Ballistas! I see no more reasoning needed for one.

 

  • Cost-effective

 

By creating the ballista, you will have less reason to travel to Europe, saving a lot of money. Along with this, the ballista costs less than other home security systems as it is all solar-powered (In the way that you don’t actually need any power for it, it’s a medieval weapon after all…). Along with this most things can be written off taxes, so I’m sure this large scale of a project can be written off

 

  • Great for parties

 

I can see no better ways to impress your guests than a war machine mounted on your roof. Along with this you can launch fireworks out at absurdly fasts speeds, and launch footballs and frisbees out of it to see who can go the farthest to catch it. There is no greater feat to write on your resume than “Caught a frisbee launched by a ballista”, now that is what we call real-world experience.

 

  • Disclaimer

 

Most of the things that I said in this short post about Ballistas is inaccurate, due to the long load time of the Ballistas, it is only useful against home invasions that consist of one person. The Ballista will not actually save you any money (Not like that stops people). And I very much so regret to inform you that the Ballista is a brilliant party trick, but it does have certain Limitations

 

  • Disclaimer Disclaimer

 

I am not a lawyer, nor do I believe Ballistas are legal, although I doubt that it’s specifically written in law so it doesn’t hurt to try. I just really like Ballistas…