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(The fact that I don’t know how to begin a letter to myself demonstrates what quarantine is doing to my social skills.) Hello! Today is April 18th, 2020, and we’ve been in quarantine for a couple of weeks now. Besides the tremendous amount of time I’ve wasted on social media and Netflix in the past weeks, this time of uncertainty has taught me a lot, and I want to remember the lessons that I’ve learned and make use of them when quarantine is over, so I think this is probably the best place to document some of those lessons. If the future me is ever feeling clueless and stuck, these reminders should help you get back on track. (For anyone else reading this, the following advice will sound extremely cheesy but for some reason, they were mindblowing for me when I finally understood them.) 

 

1. You’re here for a reason

The future seems very unclear right now, and initially, I took that as an excuse to stop caring about things. It’s always easier to cling to negativity and anxiety, and at first, I did exactly that. I’m the type of person that likes routine, so when quarantine started, I didn’t know what to do with myself. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that this period can be so much more than a clump of weeks or months that I can barely remember. This is actually the perfect time to grow and to learn more about myself. Sure, I can work out and study and be traditionally productive, but I can also develop in a more mental and emotional sense. It’s funny how I didn’t take SEL days seriously in school, but now I find myself watching the same TED talks with a completely different mindset. Don’t let routine control you; your life is far more than a monotonous cycle. 

1. You are more capable than you think.

Don’t define yourself as the skills you’ve gained thus far; you have a lot more growing to do! There are always new things to learn and don’t ever lose that inner explorer. I recently realized that I’ve been putting myself in a box, and I’ve forgotten about a lot of the things I used to be passionate about. Life isn’t about finishing the next task and getting lost in work, it’s about learning, growth, expression, etc. 

1. Gratitude can transform your perspective

During this quarantine, it’s really hitting that I have so much to be grateful for. But going forward, I don’t want times like these to be the only times I feel grateful; every day, remind yourself of all that you have. It’s astounding how fast your mood can change just by taking a couple of seconds to appreciate what you have. I want to start writing what I’m grateful for every day, and if I still haven’t done that, future me needs to get on that. 

1. Always take time out for your family

It’s funny to write this now since all I’ve been doing is spending time with my family, but I hope that you continue to stay connected with your family after this is over. My parents have been having Zoom calls with our relatives in India, and it’s really nice to see them again. There’s so much that you can learn from your family, and make sure to put effort into those relationships; your family will always be there for you. 

1. Being vulnerable is not an act of weakness 

This probably seems very random, but this is something I’m still trying to learn. Since I can’t see people in person, it’s a lot harder to make the effort to talk to people (that sounds sad but it’s true), and to truly express how I’m feeling. We can complain about how everything’s canceled and all, but when it comes to the more real, hard-hitting topics, I always hold back. But I’m hoping the more I tell this to myself, the more it’ll sink in: there’s nothing wrong with expressing yourself! Your emotions are valid, and it’s an act of strength to tell people how you feel. 

 

There’s a lot more that I could probably include, but even these few ideas are a lot to actually implement. So to future me: don’t let situations that are out of your control drive your emotions. Keep being the chill, hilarious, amazing, (and extremely humble) person that you are. I’m shocked I actually went through with writing this, but I guess it shows how bored I truly am.

Two hours and an unfortunate amount of blog ideas later, here we are. With all that’s been going on in the world and in my brain, writing a cohesive blog is just not going to happen this week. But instead of publishing my random thoughts (you’re welcome), I’ve decided to post some of my favorite pictures that I took in Colombia when I went over winter break. I’m sorry if this blog triggers anyone about their canceled spring break plans, but living vicariously through other people’s travels might make you feel better?

These pictures aren’t necessarily the best photos that I took, but I find them interesting/cool/culturally significant. If you want high-quality pictures, I put a bunch of them on VSCO (a great app that’s been ruined by the VSCO girl jokes :() so you can find them there.

1. One of my favorite parts of the entire trip was all the public art I got to see. Besides the art from museums (which you’ll also see later), I was the most intrigued by the messages plastered on random walls throughout the cities.

These pictures are from Bogotá, and there are two main parts to this mural. The first picture shows a man being trapped and silenced, and he’s joining hands with the second part of the mural, which shows the woman and the other people, and they seem to represent the common people. The words around her face say “Alcemos la vos, Cuidemos la vida,” which means that we will raise our voices, and care for our lives. To me, the mural seemed to send a message of unity, and it highlighted the discrimination or repression that many citizens may be feeling, but ultimately sends a message of hope and power. Along with being beautifully made, the mural sends a strong message to the community.

2. These pictures are also from Bogotá, from Bolívar Square. There isn’t really much to explain about these other than the fact that these people are insanely talented.

3. Peacocks! There were a lot of peacocks around our hotel, and I spent way too much time following them around, waiting for them to open their feathers. By the end of the trip, I felt personally connected to the group, even though I never got a proper picture with them :(.

4. We went to Mount Monserrate, and while the views themselves were mindblowing, I also noticed some interesting use of water bottles throughout the spot (sorry for the aggressive zoom).

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5. Cool things being sold in Bolívar Square, the bags made of Venezuelan notes were my personal favorite.

6. From Antioquia Museum and Botero Plaza; I didn’t understand why all of the figures were “proportionally exaggerated”, but apparently all Botero had to say about it was that “An artist is attracted to certain kinds of form without knowing why.” So I guess we’ll never really know why.

I have many, many more pictures to share, but I think that’s enough for one blog. I hope you found these pictures as interesting as I found them, but even if you didn’t, at least you could get your mind off of the current pandemic for 5 minutes.

Even though life may seem unpredictable and even unfair at times, it’s important to take a step back and appreciate what we have already experienced and the fact that our current situation could be much worse. So in between binging Netflix and aimlessly scrolling TikTok (and doing your elearning assignments of course!), take a moment to appreciate the current moment and all that you have to be grateful for.

On Saturday night, while an alarming amount of work awaited me and while normal people were out being social beings, I decided to watch “All The Bright Places.” It’s not uncommon for me to sit down to watch a new Netflix original if it seems interesting, but recently I’ve been more interested in light-hearted productions; I’d rather re-watch the Cheetah Girls movies than a horror movie. So when I sat down to watch “All the Bright Places,” I had no idea what I was getting myself into. 

I’ve decided to not spoil the ending of the movie in this blog because most of you probably haven’t seen it, so I’ll let you experience it on your own. But to give a brief summary, the plot surrounds Violet Markey and Theodore Finch. Violet is a high-schooler who was once a social butterfly but after losing her sister/best friend in a car accident, she spends most of her time alone. Theodore is seen as “The Freak” in school, but mainly keeps to himself, and controls his emotions by expressing them on Post-Its around his room, or by running. The movie is based on a book by Jennifer Niven. 

Both of the characters are described with some fascination with death; Markey mourns for her sister while almost considering taking her own life, while Finch obsessively researches suicide and does things like seeing how long he can stay underwater. The movie begins when Finch finds Violet standing on a ledge, seeming like she is about to jump. He helps bring her down, and we see an initial connection between the two.  

The movie continues to show their growing friendship and later romantic relationship, but both Violet and Finch continue to struggle with their mental health. I went into the movie thinking it would be a simple love story, but have not stopped thinking about it since I watched it. The way the movie was made along with the plotline made for a rollercoaster of emotions. 

“All The Bright Places” was created to send a strong message about mental health, and to emphasize the idea that you never truly know what someone else is going through, and that people who seem to have it all together may be broken inside. After watching this movie, my perceptions of my surroundings completely changed. It really made me think about my actions; every opportunity I had to be kind to someone meant so much more, and in general, I gained sympathy for my peers. We all have our own baggage to carry, and the best thing that we can do for each other is to make each other’s journeys as smooth as possible. 

So if this blog convinced you to watch “All The Bright Places,” I hope you take as powerful a message from it as I did. But even if you decide to stick to rewatching “The Office” or binging “Love is Blind,” remember to be conscious of the way you treat others, and like Jennifer Niven wrote in the book, “It’s not what you take, it’s what you leave.”

2 weeks ago, I got contact lenses. After almost a decade of glasses, it was finally time for me to see the world from a different perspective… ok fine, let’s be honest: getting contacts isn’t that big of a deal. But for me, a simple accessory has defined much of my self-perception and played a larger role in my life than I realized. 

For years, I avoided the idea of contacts. My parents urged me to consider it, friends encouraged me to stop being four-eyed, but something always held me back. I complained about the “super complicated” maintenance required for contacts, the extra costs, but what was truly worrying me, was my lack of self-acceptance. After spending years in glasses, I didn’t realize that I had been hiding behind them. Aside from physical insecurities and social concerns, I feared change. With so many drastic changes coming up, I guess it felt nice to have some constants in my life. 

But upon getting contacts, I discovered that the change I was trying to avoid, was actually the change I needed. One step out of my comfort zone opened up a world of risks that I was more willing to take. For example, if I was willing to get rid of glasses, then maybe I would try wearing something new (other than hoodies/sweatpants 😱😬)? Through this change, I began to live my life more in accordance with what I wanted, instead of what I’m used to.

 

And just when I (and probably you) thought I already had overanalyzed getting contacts enough, I read an eye-opening blog. To summarize, the blogger, Sydney Olivia, did a social experiment by wearing fake glasses at her college for a week, which led her to greater realizations about society and how we see each other. Reactions from her peers were mainly positive but overall neutral. In general, people seemed to support any stylistic choice that Sydney made, as it didn’t really affect them much. But this interested Sydney, as she felt like if she had done this in high school, she would’ve been judged or made fun of. The glasses of her experiment became a symbol for something greater, for the lenses that we view each other from. The most profound sentence in the entire blog for me was:

“We all wear glasses we don’t need.”

Olivia went into detail to explain how her own experiences in high school compared to college showed the difference in judgment once perspective is changed; she points out that “suddenly what was weird in high school is acceptable, smart, and “cool” in college.” She found that as we see more cultures and experience diversity, we’re more likely to be more understanding of others. 

But it’s important to note that by changing settings or moving to a more diverse place, people don’t automatically become kind, sympathetic, and compassionate. Olivia claims that this is a choice that we all have to make, a choice to be a more welcoming person. Just as we can choose to judge others or fear judgment, we can also make the choice to appreciate others and ourselves. 

This blog isn’t really about getting contacts, nor does it have anything to do with convincing people to get contacts. You can wear whatever eyewear you want (or none at all), but take the idea more symbolically, as a reminder to always have clear lenses and an open mind to look at the world from. 

 

I spent a sad amount of time thinking about what to write this blog about. It annoyed me that my life and opinions were seemingly not interesting enough to show my peers. But as I was sitting in my room, staring at a blank doc, I began to talk to myself and think out loud. Maybe louder than I realized, since minutes later, my dad comes in, confused, and asks who I’m talking to. At that moment, I realized my topic for this blog while my dad probably concluded that his daughter is going insane, which leads to my question: is it insane to talk to yourself?

I used to think that I was the only one who found themselves whispering thoughts to themselves while doing other tasks or having mini debates with themselves when making a decision, but this outer self-talk is actually very common. An article I was reading mentioned our “deep, transcendental conversations at 3am with nobody else but our own thoughts to answer back,” and I’ve never felt so exposed. 

 

So why is talking to yourself so common? And is it good for us? 

 

The origins of talking to ourselves come from our childhood when we are first learning to speak, and this self-directed speech is actually what helps us develop and learn new skills. But talking to yourself doesn’t mean that you haven’t developed out of your baby habits; it means that you’ve continued to use it to help you strengthen your cognitive abilities. I found a study that sums up the impact of self-talk pretty well: 20 people were given an object, like an apple or loaf of bread, to go find in a supermarket. In the first trial, the participants had to be silent, but in the second round, they repeated the name of the item out loud. The study found that the people were able to find the object with much more ease in the second round, as “saying things out loud sparks memory. It solidifies the end game and makes it tangible.”

But besides finding milk faster at the grocery store, talking to yourself has a multitude of other benefits. The emotional impact of self-talk is by far the most interesting aspect of the activity. As an article by NBC News put it, “What we say to ourselves, when we say [it], and how, has a tremendous impact on our self-esteem, beliefs about self-efficacy, and overall sense of worth.” I’ve found in my own life that the simple act of telling myself that I’m capable of achieving something or that everything is going to be okay, has had a large effect on my mindset. We often are quick to yell at ourselves or think negatively, but when it comes to motivating ourselves, these ideas may seem cliche or ineffective. But once you get past the idea of it feeling weird to talk to yourself, you begin to form a much healthier relationship with your own emotions, which leads to a greater sense of balance within you. 

I have to admit, the transition to a more positive self-view is much harder than it seems, but it makes sense: we’ve wired our brains to think a certain way for so many years, so breaking those habits take time. But to be able to speak your success into existence, and understand what you’re feeling and move past that is an ability that will carry you for the rest of your life. Even the simple change of not saying you’re screwed for the next math test or that you definitely won’t do well in a class, but instead putting your best effort in and being confident in your potential will already make a huge difference. 

 

We tend to rely on others for comfort; we text friends when we’re stressed, rant to family about our problems, but fail to acknowledge the person who understands us the most: ourselves. So the next time you have something on your mind and can’t seem to express it to those around you, try materializing those emotions and see where the conversation takes you.

If you could see ten years into the future, what would you want to see?

 

Normally, I don’t think life in 2030 would be a pressing topic, but as I watch Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life, I can’t help but think of the future. Most people enjoyed the show when it was first popular and felt nostalgic watching the characters 10 years later since the viewers had grown alongside them. I, on the other hand, binged watched the entire show alongside the newer part within a couple of months, so the time change really messed me up. Here’s a big spoiler of the show: the Netflix original is terrible. After watching 7 seasons of young Lorelai and Rory, it was disappointing to see their lack of growth after ten years. 

From Rory’s lack of commitment in her love life to Lorelai’s continually underdeveloped relationship with her mother, it seems as though the characters have gotten worse with time. I felt like my months of faithful watching ended in confusion and the hope that I’m not as lost as Rory when I’m in my 30s. But personal dissatisfaction aside, the show does send a genuine message about the hardships in breaking out of habits and moving towards a better life. So instead of spending 1000 words ranting about topics like why Jess is far superior to Logan or Dean, I’d rather look into the deeper ideas that arise from the show as a whole. 

 

If there’s one thing I can appreciate about the show, it’s that the lives of Lorelai and Rory are far more practical than other shows. Instead of Rory being a super popular journalist with a perfect life, she’s still struggling with her career and trying to figure herself out as a person. While Lorelai has been close to Luke for decades, she still struggles in communicating clearly with him. The viewers may not get a perfect ending, but they’re left with a feeling of comfort, knowing that the story doesn’t end there. I appreciated hearing that message, since most of the media highlights the idea of creating a “new you” or starting with a clean slate, instead of improving from your current state. We try so hard to hide our pasts, even though it is our experiences that help us become better people. 

A fitting but random example that applies is of the Chinese Bamboo Tree; for its first five years, the plant is not seen above ground. With continued watering and nurturing, the plant only begins to show itself in its fifth year! Our growth is

similar. We may not see improvements externally, but making small efforts towards our futures pays off in the end. Just as Rory aspired for a journalistic career from her Chilton days, we all have the same opportunity to plan ahead and envision our futures. 

Some may see a huge mansion and a high paying job, while others hope for a family of their own or a supportive friend group. Besides the fact that our dying planet may have already wiped out the human population by then, we all have our own visions for the future. But our aspirations all lead to one question: are we willing to work for what we want?