Hello from quarantine! I that wherever this finds you, you are doing better than I am right now. Admittedly, things could be worse, but I am of the belief that things can always be worse. Right now I’m writing to you from my hammock in the park behind the house, so yeah, things really could be worse. Regardless, it is easy for me to say that this is one of the most defining events of my life. 

When all of this began, I was fairly unconcerned with it all. Actually, I was convinced that everything would blow over and we would all be fine. Even until a couple of weeks ago, I felt like we would only be home for a few weeks and that would be it. I was wrong. It’s been hard for me to come to terms with the fact that people are dying. We wear masks when we go to the store. Today I actually felt anxiety when I had to leave the house to go to the doctor. My world just isn’t the same anymore, and I have to come to terms with that.

I feel like two massive events are colliding in my life right now. On one hand, it’s senior year and just a few weeks ago I was stressed about prom and finding a college roommate. Now, I have to be strategic about when to go to the grocery store or have to facetime my friends on a Friday night to achieve some sense of normalcy. The truth is, none of this is normal for me and my two major lives– pre-quarantine and during quarantine– collide every time I walk downstairs to do high school in the dining room. 

That being said, I have to remind myself that my life isn’t over or even on pause. I have had to find things that remind me of what living life feels like. I can’t see my friends on weekends or take the field under the stadium lights or anything else that previously defined my existence but I can’t just mope and waste these months of my life. I’ve really found the value of going outside (literally, I spend at least two hours a day sitting in the sun or playing lacrosse in the park or hammocking). Making a routine of staying active physically and mentally has been saving my mental health. Coming out of this at least I know that I’ll be more in tune with my emotions and what’s going on in my head, as I’ve had so much time alone with my thoughts.

It’s easy for me to be afraid of the future, whether summer plans will be canceled or if I won’t be able to start college on time. But wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, you’re on the other side of this whole debacle. I have some words for you.

• Don’t forget how lucky you are to have your friends and loved ones around. Take notice of how alive they make you feel and don’t forget to cherish that. So much of your high school life was spent inside (even before the quarantine) so don’t make the same mistakes. Get out there.
• Get outside. Yes, into the outdoors, but also out of your own head. We’re only here for so long, so take the leap of faith because I know you’re probably overthinking it. Remember that you weren’t always as free as you are now, in more ways than one; you don’t have any other excuse but to live life to the fullest because why the hell not. 
• I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what’s beyond the walls of my house, what’s in the future. I hope you look around and know that you’re living a life you love, fully and authentically yourself. Don’t let life pass you by.

I have so much hope for my life and for the world coming out of this. Until then, I’ll be inside (or at the park, if we’re honest).