I never thought I would ever wish for school NOT to be canceled, but here we are. It’s only been three days since we left school and I’m already bored out of my mind. I’ve been feeling very sad these past few days and would like to rant about my emotions and thoughts. I’m warning you in advance, this is going to be a pretty negative blog post… Here are the main reasons why I am sad right now:
1. Airband has been canceled
As many of you may know, I’m in an airband called the Heartbreakairs. We’ve been working our asses off since January, practicing for two to four hours, three to four times a week. We’ve spent almost $1000 total on t-shirts, props, team jackets, costumes, etc. We’ve invested so much time, emotions, and energy into creating our routine–all for our chance to show it to everyone to be taken away so quickly. Airband is something I’ve wanted to be apart of since I first saw it as a freshman. All that excitement and hope that was built up came crashing down in a second this morning when I found out the status was changed from “postponed” to “canceled”. I guess you could say my heart was broken by the news, haha. But in all seriousness, I would much rather have it postponed, even months later, than to never be able to perform it in the fieldhouse at all. But it seems as if there’s nothing we can do about it now, except maybe put on a small performance for friends.
2. Spring has been canceled
I’m not as sad about this one, since I’ve been to two Spring dances before and they aren’t that fun. However, I’m still disappointed because I spent a lot of hours browsing online for the perfect dress, getting two separate shipments before finding the one I wanted, and now I won’t get to wear it. I also already bought a poster and planned out what I was going to put on it for my spring ask, but now I won’t get to make one last poster for a high school dance. A potential alternative is to still get all dressed up, take pictures, and have a little gathering with the friends I was going to go with, but I’m not sure if that’s a good idea considering the “social distancing” advisory. All I can hope for now is that prom doesn’t get canceled too.
3. I feel like I’m on house arrest
My parents don’t really want me having other people over if it’s not necessary and most of my friends aren’t allowed to leave their houses either. I’m not allowed to go to the gym to workout, which has been driving me crazy because my body is used to a routine of lifting Monday through Friday. I feel like a couch potato because all I have been doing is sleep, go on my phone, and binge-eat food while I binge-watch Netflix. I do realize that I cannot keep this unhealthy and unproductive lifestyle up for the next three weeks, so I’m trying to come up with the motivation and a plan to do something with all this time I have.
4. I can’t go on vacation
Even though flights are ridiculously cheap right now, it’s not considered safe or responsible to travel. I was supposed to go to Cancun over spring break, but now it’s pretty likely that the trip will get canceled because even though Cancun hasn’t been affected by coronavirus, it’s still risky to go in airports and travel. So now I can say goodbye to warm weather, palm trees, a nice tan, unlimited food and drinks, snorkeling, surfing, jungle ziplining, water slides, and many more things I was looking forward to on this vacation. I also accidentally went a little overboard and spent more money than I should have buying new swimsuits for this vacation so I’m disappointed that I won’t get to wear them for a while, at least until the summer.
Basically, I feel helpless that everything I’ve been looking forward to has been canceled and frustrated that there’s nothing I can do to un-cancel those things. I thought my senioritis was bad at the beginning of the semester, but it has gotten a hundred times worse since our senior year has been pulled out from underneath us. It feels as if there’s nothing left to work towards.
I know I have been very pessimistic in this post and I’m sorry. I should be more grateful for being healthy and at less of a risk for COVID-19, but it’s currently hard to do that when I feel so sorry for myself and the rest of the class of 2020. All I can say is that we, the class of 2020, can get through this. If we all keep doing what we’re told to do with the social distancing, handwashing, being responsible citizens, etc. then the sooner this will all pass, so that we can return to our senior year!