I feel like this isn’t taboo to write about anymore, so here goes.
For my therapist,
Thank you for greeting me with warm eyes and a wide smile when I first met you. I remember being more sullen, less receptive to advice, essentially the epitome of “in my feels” when you first introduced yourself to me that August. Thank you for encouraging me and reveling with me in my accomplishments, even when they were as simple as getting out of bed after two days of being wrapped inside my blankets.
The one hour I spent with you on a weekly basis is a much-needed break from the outside world. Sometimes I’m exhausted to the point where I’m falling asleep in my chair, and at other times, I’m bouncing up and down in my seat from my fifth cup of coffee. You remind me to take each day at a time, plan out what I need to do, and get it done. Simple as that. Don’t overthink it, even though that’s something I can’t help but do. My mind, constantly racing, is soothed by the sixty minutes I sit in that chair, memorizing the patterns of the rug beneath me, as I trace the pillow that sits in my lap.
Quiet. The clock ticks, ticks, onward. Sometimes we sit in silence; you look at me and wait for the gradual processing of my thoughts so I can translate my musings into the English language. Sometimes I can’t stop rambling, feeling overwhelmed as a wave of anxiousness crashes over me. Nevertheless, you listen. You offer me a practically sacred opportunity to come to terms with all aspects of my life, as painful as some are for me to move past.
Growing up in an Asian American household, my parents haven’t always viewed mental health as a valid concern. You have been incredibly patient, listening to everything that’s on my mind, thoroughly answering my questions, and opening up a path of communication between all the members of my family.
You’ve been an advocate for me when no one else understands how I feel. Beyond that, you’ve advocated for my own health above all, reminding me that it’s not my Achilles heel to require an extra boost of serotonin and dopamine to get through my day. Even on days where my mentality is all f*ck the world and f*ck my brain and its lack of neurotransmitters, thank you for being there (or like a text message away, pretty convenient that I can text you because sometimes one weekly session isn’t enough).
Okay, honestly speaking, you haven’t been the entire reason why my life looks entirely different than it did 1.5 years ago. Though, you have acted as a catalyst; seeing you was the first indicator that I was at least making an effort to seek help and make my life into something worthwhile.
So thank you! For being there for me, supporting me, and helping me express what I want to say.
If you’re reading this and it strikes a chord with you, don’t be afraid to consider reaching out and seeing a therapist. Sometimes you just need someone to talk to.
Sincerely,
Lauren
7 thoughts on “For My Therapist”
Wow, I loved this blog. The statistic about Asian-Americans being 3x less likely to seek mental health services sadly was not shocking, as I’ve seen in my own life that many Indians fail to recognize the impact of bad mental health, and the importance of being mentally healthy. I think we all need someone in our lives that we can reach out to and there needs to be less stigma around seeking help through therapy, as it’s a very healthy way to express yourself and be more self-aware. So thank you for posting this and for spreading this message!!
msahuja
Hey Lauren, this letter is so beautiful. I was reading this during Lit today and you almost had me crying during our class discussion 🙂 Your writing is so effortless yet detailed, I really feel like I’m reading a professionally published open letter. I am grateful that you decided to write your blog on mental health and therapy because you are helping to widen the much needed discussion. I’m very happy that going to therapy has helped you so much in the last 1.5 years, and that you are now spreading awareness on mental health and the benefits of going to a therapist. Maybe you could actually send this to your therapist! I’m sure she would really appreciate it and it would no doubt make you feel good as well.
jschao1
Lauren, This was so beauifully written. I really like how you touched on your home life and your parents take on mental health issues. It’s so rare that minorities open up to their loved ones about depression, anxiety, etc. It’s frowned upon, unfortunety. However, posts like this one will open people up and create a diaglouge that is needed in order for us and many others to get the help that we deserve. I don’t know you that well, but I’m so proud that you had the courage to write this 🙂
damarshall
*unfortunately *dialogue lol
damarshall
Wow, this post is really powerful. I appreciate how raw and personal it is, which made it that much more easy to resonate with. I am also glad that you included the stat about Asian Americans, because as one, I do feel like there is much more of a stigma around having a mental illness because it isn’t really talked about or dealt with. I love how you shone light upon the issue and wrote about how it is okay to have moments of weakness; that doesn’t make you a weak person. Overall, I really resonated with this post on a personal level and I’m glad that you feel comfortable enough to share it with us.
kkoneru
I absolutely love this. I’m so glad that it is much more acceptable in society today to have a therapist and seek any kind of help because everyone really does just need someone to talk to. It can be so hard to open up to parents or family members or even friends sometimes, so it is really nice to have an uninvolved person sitting and listening to you while also giving advice on how to work through different aspects of your life. Your blog was so relatable and I’m glad you wrote this. I really enjoed reading it.
amkautz
Wow, this was beautifully written. I loved the honesty of it all, specifically at the end, when you mentioned how therapists are a catalyst for change, they aren’t the entire reason, that hit me hard. Starting therapy, I expected it to completely change my life immediately. I remember being frustrated with the lack of results, but the slow change that came with it was so worth it. Awesome blog, I loved the topic.
Erin Spinner