I wish she had more time..

While she grew up, her family was privileged; She didn’t have to worry about finances. She had the luxury of playing pretend in her fancy pink barbie car. Her hardest decision was deciding which Disney princess she ought to be that day. When wondering what she wanted to be when she was older, her first idea was a mermaid– of course — then perhaps a fairy. A dog walker surfaced her mind at age 8 but was obviously beaten by the classic superhero or princess at age 9. She was the friendly neighbor who wore a blue Cinderella dress with the additional blue lightsaber because she couldn’t make up her mind that day. She played in her treehouse where I watched the older brother rule the “kingdom.” If only life was as simple as it was back then. She had no idea that hardships were impending upon her family, she needed more time. 

I remember her mom always telling us stories of how easygoing she was. I recall her never demanding attention or requiring much maintenance, she was the middle child. She had low expectations and was appreciative of everything she received. I often remember her waiting at the dining room table while I got home from school. Her animation was electric and our bond was tight. We did absolutely everything together and wouldn’t leave each other’s sides, we liked it that way. Mom tried to explain to me that her dad’s job was “precarious” whatever that meant, I thought. Little did I know the loss of his job affected their lives in more ways than one, it even took its toll on me. I could tell it was an intense time for their family. We started to drift apart and I never understood how a bond so tight could be broken so easily. I remember my mom repeatedly telling me “it is out of our control, just make sure you’re always there for her.” I never could grasp that sentence. It never made sense to me. Why did we fall apart? What did I do? What did I say? I remember constantly questioning my existence as I would come home from school barging through the door in hopes she would be there to greet me with a bigger smile than me. Shortly after I would always rush to my window and look outside hoping there would be movement in the treehouse, it took me a while to understand that there was always none. 

Her mom left the workforce when they had her so she was a stay-at-home mom, it was confusing to see her mom not home anymore. And I could barely imagine how her and her siblings felt, let alone justifying their lives with newly absent parents. When you walked in their house it wasn’t animated like it used to be; there were no toys, but rather paper and packets and applications flung around on every countertop. Her childhood was different. She grew up fast. I felt like it too, as I studied her life. Her parents provided exactly what she needed but nothing extra. She envied her classmates with trendy clothes and presents that involved concert tickets. However, an experience that brought so many hardships was such an eye-opener. She’s now responsible and cautious and works harder than most, she held a part-time job since she was old enough to work. She takes nothing for granted; even though the pay is minimum wage she claims she never minds working because it gave her an experience of what it feels like to work in the real world. It gave her the perspective of what her father and mother had done for her. She is fully grown at age 17 and I wish she had enough time. If only life was as simple as it was back then.