Between reading The Stranger and spending my days all alone with no parents at home, I began spiraling down into an existential crisis relating to love. Moreso, I kept asking myself What is love? and What does love feel like? Netflix’s new movie “The Half Of It” helped escalate my love crisis by raising questions like How many people find perfect love? and If they do, how do they make it last? And this all points to Camus’ idea that life is irrational and meaningless. How do I know that I want to spend my entire life with someone? To be there for them no matter what? At the ripe young age of 18, I knew that I still had plenty of time to meet my soulmate. But also, at this ripe adult age of 18, I still haven’t experienced anything remotely close to this so-called love. I never went on a date, never had a boyfriend, and never even had my first kiss. This all led me to wonder maybe there was something wrong with me. 

So in an attempt to find love, I downloaded a dating app called Tinder. Many of you are familiar with it. If you see

someone you like, you swipe right, but if you’re not interested, you swipe left. If you match with someone, you have the chance to message them. As I began matching with people, I couldn’t help but notice a similar pattern. If I match with someone and message first, they almost usually don’t respond back to me. However, if I match with someone and wait for a bit, they will message me first. Within around three messages exchanged, these guys usually want to hang out. Because of this I start getting confused. How is one so willing to hang out with another person that they barely know? Or another scenario where a few nice messages are being exchanged, and then the guy asks to hook up and send pictures. However, when I say I’m not interested, the guys usually switch their tone on me or just stop messaging me in general. Needless to say, the hookup culture was prominent on Tinder. 

 

It seems as if these days, relationships aren’t what it seems to be in the movies. There was no perfect guy who would come into my life and sweep me off my feet. Or so it seems. Movies like “The Notebook” and “A Walk to Remember” all seemed like a scam to me. So, I severely lowered my expectations to the point where I would let Tinder boys walk all over me, despite my best friend’s protests that I needed to raise my standards. After a couple weeks of letting these guys pressure me, I felt awful. I felt worthless and tired. I was convinced there was no perfect guy out there. Finding love in this loveless era was practically hopeless. And after all this time, I still had no idea what love is. 

 

Perhaps I’m looking for love in the wrong places. Or perhaps, love doesn’t exist. Maybe humans “love” someone because they need someone to feel whole. As Plato states, “Love is simply the name for the desire and pursuit of the whole.” I learned a Greek mythology from “The Half of It.” The ancient Greeks used to think that humans once had four arms, four legs, and two faces on a head. Humans were happy and they felt complete with each other, so much to the point where the Gods felt threatened and cleaved the humans in half. Then humans became so miserable and lonely, searching for the other half of their soul. Plato’s quote further explains that the end to our desire of love actually constitutes finding someone that fills our other half. However, an ancient Greek philosopher Diotima of Mantinea, denies this claim by saying that finding that person is only the beginning of the pursuit of love. 

All this time has passed and the mystery of love was still there for me. No answers were found in my futile attempt to find love. And it is clear that love certainly wasn’t going to be knocking at my door. One day I will find my answers, but today is not the day. 

As you might’ve guessed, I am Asian, or more specifically, I am Taiwanese. I constantly get comments like “being Taiwanese is the same as being Chinese!” I admit, if you think that being Taiwanese is the same as being Chinese, and you wouldn’t be totally wrong. However, you are still wrong and it irks me a lot when people say this. So in this blog, I will be outlining the basics of Taiwanese culture. Our culture is pretty intermixed with China’s. So some Taiwanese cultural standards I mention will overlap with some Chinese cultural standards. 

The Language:

Yes, as rumors have it, Taiwanese people do speak Mandarin Chinese. But we also have our own language of Taiwanese Hokkien, which both my parents speak. My mom likes to talk about me in Taiwanese Hokkien on the phone to family friends, knowing I don’t fully understand the language. But, after multiple repetitions, I am able to pick up when she is gossiping about me. Most Taiwanese citizens are able to speak Taiwanese Hokkien or Mandarin Chinese, so if you can understand either language, navigating through Taiwan should be easy. 

Lunar New Year:

Both cultures celebrate this holiday. This holiday is amongst the most known in Taiwan. During Lunar New Year, there is a tradition of gifting out red envelopes. You usually receive red envelopes from your parents and grandparents. Red envelopes symbolize good luck and inside them, there is money. These can be given out on other special occasions like weddings. On this holiday, we wish each other a year of health, good luck, and monetary wealth.

Taiwanese Respect: 

In Taiwan, we place a heavy emphasis on the idea of respect. You must treat your elders with respect, even if you do not agree with them or are unhappy with them. When you see someone older than you, no matter the age, you must greet them by their relation to you. For example, if I see my older cousin, I would greet him formally in Mandarin with “Hello Brother.” This is mandatory in order for your elders to see you in a respectful manner. When you visit a house that is not your own, always offer to clean up. When eating, the elders receive the food first. When addressing elders, use a special form of “you” to represent respect and formality. 

3 Popular Cultural Foods That Originated From Taiwan:

The first one on the list might surprise you. Bubble tea. I bet you didn’t know bubble tea originated from Taiwan. This chewy and sweet tapioca filled milk tea is the pride of Taiwan. You can find a bubble tea shop around each corner. Now, bubble tea has become very popular in North America and a favorite drink of many Asians and Americans. You can find pork buns in your local Chinese restaurant. This is Taiwan’s version of a hamburger. The pork inside is juicy, tender, and flavorful. The bun is soft and has almost no flavor. These two components contrast each other to make a concoction that is unique and tasteful. After a long or cold day, an oyster vermicelli will warm you right up. This is a type of noodle soup that features oysters and misua noodles (salty wheat flour noodles). Forget your chicken noodle soup; oyster vermicelli is where it’s at! 

Transportation: 

Taiwan’s transportation varies vastly from the U.S. ‘s. In America, almost everyone travels in cars. However, in Taiwan, a good majority of people travel by motorcycles, taxis, and buses. This is because there is limited room for cars by living shelters. Also, driving in Taiwan takes serious skill. There are many automobiles and the road spaces are very crowded. Getting around locally in a motorcycle is perhaps the easiest way to travel because you can weave through cars and reach your destination faster.

 

Now you understand some of the basics of Taiwanese culture and traditions. Taiwan holds a special place in my heart and to share my culture with you means a lot to me. I hope you consider appreciating Taiwanese culture, and perhaps decide to visit the country one day. 

 

I admit, my mom can be a little overboard with saving money. But then again, which Asian mom isn’t? It’s amazing the amount of money my mom is able to save each month due to creative methods and her matriarchal power over the family. Without my mom, our family would be financially worse off than we are now. Here are some ways my mom saves money.

 

• • Always buy items that are on sale or on clearance! Manufacturer’s Suggested Retail Price? More like

    

    Mom’s Suggested Reduce Price. Stores often times markup prices to a ridiculous amount that earns them the most profit. If you buy discounted items, you can easily save over 50 dollars on a grocery trip and over 100 dollars on a shopping spree. You should only buy full price items if you absolutely need it; Otherwise, you can wait for some time to pass and I can 90% guarantee you that the item you need will be discounted pretty soon. 

 

• Do not use a dryer at all costs! Instead, invest your money on clothing rods and racks to hang up your clothes. The rods and racks might seem a little pricey, but using a dryer several times would amount to the same price. Then it starts being worth it in investing in rods and racks. This is both environmentally friendly and financially gainful.

• Do not turn on the AC during the summer nights! Instead of turning on the AC in the summer, open up your bedroom windows. This allows for a cooler summer breeze to enter your room. Additionally, doing this will air out your room and make it smell fresher!

 

• Reduce, reuse, recycle! This will help you save additional money. With paper that is blank on one side, save it so when you need paper for drawing, notes, etc., you can reuse the paper instead of grabbing a perfectly new sheet. Also, saving your grocery bags is a good idea because you can reuse these bags as trash bags instead of going out of your way to buy some. Plastic containers from food items like yogurt can be used again to store fruit, boiled eggs, or other food items. If you use a paper towel to wipe water from the table, you can use the paper towel again to wipe additional spills you may have. A bonus is that these methods are environmentally friendly too!

 

• Eat out less! In fact, my family rarely goes out to lavish restaurants that will break our wallet. Instead, we like to enjoy a home cooked meal that is both cheaper and more likely healthier. In addition, we don’t have to tip when we’re at home! It’s a win-win situation at best. When we go out to eat though, we will choose a local restaurant that doesn’t charge ridiculous amounts, or go to a restaurant that prefers the customers paying with cash. If a restaurant prefers customers paying cash, it is most likely that they will give a discount on the food because they want to pay less taxes.

 

With these tips in mind, you can save hundreds of dollars per month and use that money to invest in stocks, money markets, bonds, etc to earn more money! You can worry less about going out of money and providing for yourself with these ways to save money that is approved by your local Asian mom. Happy saving! 

Just trust me, this really is the perfect vacation spot. Let me tell you why… 

In Taiwan, there are multiple things to do to satisfy your travel needs and are unique to the country. These are my personal favorites:

1. If you are looking for a relaxing place to stay at, stop by Sun Moon Lake. This lake is well known for its gorgeous sunsets and sunrises over the mountains. Unfortunately, swimming in the lake is prohibited, but you can walk or rent a bike to travel around the lake. There is a specialized bike route that goes through the lake, which feels like you are riding on a lake. If exercising isn’t for you, no worries! You can ride on a gondola lift which will allow you to see the beauty of Sun Moon Lake from above. 

2. For an experience like no other, enjoy a fish pedicure at 溫泉魚足浴 (Dr. Fish Foot Spas) in Yilan. Visitors will be able to go to a fish pond and put their feet in so that fish can nibble on the dead skin. This process is good for exfoliating your skin and the fish are fed with your dead skin. It might seem ticklish at first, but you get used to the sensation and eventually, you will feel like sleeping. You can enjoy a bottle of Ramune to refresh yourself after your relaxing experience. 

 

3. Another fun and relaxing activity you can do in Taiwan is going to a cold spring, which is also in Yilan! It’s the opposite of a hot bath. Visitors get a private bath cabin to themselves where they can soak themselves either naked or in a swimsuit. Yes, the water is cold, but you will soon get used to it. The water feels like it’s alive because it is carbonated. After you are done with your bath, you can go outside and drink spring water from a pipe! How cool is that? In addition, this experience is fairly cheap!

4. A city experience is always the move if you are unsure of what to do. Taipei 101 is Taiwan’s highest building, which is also one of the top ten highest buildings in the world. Also, one of the world’s fastest elevators is in this building. From the top of the building, you can admire the view of the city. In addition, you can enjoy food from both high end and regular restaurants. For shopping lovers like me, the building features famous designer brands from around the world. 

5. Taiwan’s pride and joy comes from this famous restaurant that you might’ve heard of, or been to: Din Tai Fung. Every time I go to Din Tai Fung, the place is always packed with hungry people looking to get a taste of their famous xiao long bao. Xiao long bao is essentially like a dumpling, but with soup inside. There are a lot of xiao long bao restaurants out there, but what makes Din Tai Fung so special? The skin of the bao is perfectly soft and the meat is juicy and tender. The restaurant has expanded into the U.S., but the best Din Tai Fung restaurant to go to will be the original, which is located in Taiwan (no surprise there).

6. The Taiwanese experience is not complete if you do not go to a night market. You can find night markets practically anywhere in Taiwan. The night market is a place for everybody, both adults and kids alike. The party starts at around 4 to 5 pm, with night vendors swapping places with the day vendors. During the day, the market is full of raw vegetables, fruits, and meats. During the night, a larger selection is available. People will be selling homemade food, clothes, games, toys, and more. It is like a scene that you would expect from the “splendid” bazaar in Araby. Taiwanese night markets are worldwide famous. The night market is most well known for its food. The food is traditional Taiwanese street food: it is simple to make outside, but the flavors and spices make it seem more complex. You can take your pick of shaved ice with condensed milk on top or pastries with cream and red bean paste on the inside. If sweets aren’t for you, there are salty foods like fried octopus sticks and scallion pancakes native to Taiwan. Perhaps you are feeling risky enough to try stinky tofu, which smell is almost as repulsive as the taste. Personally, it’s not my favorite, but it is a favorite of the Taiwanese people. The night market certainly provides an experience that no one can forget, including you.

 

If you are looking for your next vacation, look no further! There is something for everyone in Taiwan. Or at least, keep Taiwan as one of the options in your mind. 

 

“Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave

O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?”

As my phone buzzed in class, so did the other phones in the classroom. When I picked up my phone, I was not surprised to see what was on my screen–another amber alert. I sighed and put my phone away. So did all my classmates. My teacher did the same as well. This was a routine now. In Colorado, frequent amber alerts didn’t surprise anyone anymore. Another child missing? Well, at least it wasn’t us. 

From young, we were all taught to not take candy from strangers because as we all know, Stranger Danger! As I grew older, warnings of strangers became more emphasized. Out of the five places I lived in, Colorado was the place where my mom grew really overprotective over me. There would be shootings in movie theaters and nearby shops. A few times, there were warnings about a strange man who seemed to be waiting on the outskirts of the premise of the local elementary school–the same one that I attended. I was in multiple lockdowns at my middle school, but none of them were drills.

When I entered my teenage years, I became more aware of the danger that surrounded me. Sometimes, I would like to walk around alone during the nighttime. When a car slows down where I was walking, I would pick up my pace, praying that whoever was in that car didn’t have it out for petite Asian girls. My sister gifted me pepper spray for my walks because she also became paranoid. With two quick movements of my index finger, I could render my attacker powerless. For one summer, I took karate lessons because my mom thought it was important for me to learn how to defend myself. Whenever I went out alone with my guy friends, my mom would tell me not to drink from my cup because I would never know if it had been roofied. She told me stories of girls who got drugged by their own friends.

I always thought that catcalling was a myth because who in their right mind would catcall to a woman on the streets; Even more so, who would want to catcall a girl on the streets? It was during my junior year of high school. I was at a volunteer event for school when two guys walked past me whistling, “Ay yo, you’re hot!” Chills ran down my arms as I proceeded to avoid eye contact and walk faster. I’ve been told stories about these notorious catcallers. Often times, they would follow the girl around relentlessly. Luckily for me, these guys didn’t do that. But from this experience, I learned to keep my head down and avoid eye contact. 

Needless to say, I live by a set of rules that keep me safe and hopefully, you too. Keep your head down and avoid eye contact whilst walking down the streets. Use your peripheral vision to be aware of your surroundings. While you’re alone, keep pepper spray in your hand and keep that hidden in your pocket. Never go to a bathroom in a crowded place alone. If you see a strange object on your car, other than a ticket, do not touch your car. In fact, zip ties are common signs. You should immediately call the police because you could be the next potential sex trafficking victim. If people follow you around advertising to you, be careful; these people are most likely going to lure you into a dangerous situation. Always lock your car when you are driving because when you are a stoplight, anyone can jump into your car. When you are at your house alone, lock all the doors and do not answer the door for anybody, even a fellow classmate.

With all of this in mind, let me ask you this: is America really the land of the free? Or is our national anthem just a travesty of freedom? 

 

Stuck on love? Well, I’m no expert, but after doing some research, I guess you might as well just call me one! Let me introduce to you the (sike)ology of love. How and why do we love the way we do? 

There have been three main theoretical approaches to the study of love. The first is the Styles of Love, which was introduced by John Alan Lee in 1973. There are three primary styles: Eros, Ludos, and Storge. In addition, there are three secondary styles: Mania, Pragma, and Agape. 

Eros: This name is derived by the Greek god of love and sex. As you can probably guess from the name, this style of love is comprised of romantic and very passionate love. People that are in this category tend to view love as some sort of ideal. These types of people are usually portrayed as “hopeless romantics.” You know the type… love at first sight… #ew. They have a certain type of obsession with love, almost playing in a fantasy world with their lover. 

Ludos:  Ever played the game of love? Well for these people, love is the main game they play. This name is derived from the Latin translation of “play.” People who have a ludos style like to play with others emotions and manipulate them. They aren’t very attached to their partners. Often times, these people will flirt with others or have a love affair while being in a relationship. 

Storge: The name is derived from the Greek term for “natural affection.” This style of love starts out as a friendship. It is slow developed, from a shared interest in activities into genuine interest in the person. People with this style are less passionate with sex and affection is shown through non-sexual ways. 

Mania: This comes from the Greek term for “madness.” Mania is a combination of Eros and Ludos. People with this style of love is obsessed with their partner. They tend to get jealous easily and can distrust their partner’s sincerity. They have a desire to be in love, imagining their partner in different scenarios. 

Pragma: This comes from the Greek term for “practical love.” Pragma is a combination of Ludos and Storge. People with this style share common goals with the partner and the relationship is business-like. Personality and interests tend to be similar. Their partner satisfies their criteria until someone better comes along. 

Agape: This comes from the Greek term for “brotherly love.” Agape is the combination of Eros and Storge. This style is more selfless than the other ones. It believes that everyone is able to find the love that they deserve. An Agape love is patient and not easily jealous. Agape lovers tend to put their partner’s happiness before their own.  

Now that you know the 6 styles of love, why don’t you reflect on what style you fit into? If you’re having trouble figuring which style you are, luckily there are developed tests that can help you.

Click This To Take the Love Style Test

The second theoretical approach to the study of love was introduced by Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love. The Triangular Theory of Love include three components of love and how they interact with each other. The three corners (components) are Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment. The three components are mixed together to produce different types of love relationships. A relationship that only has one component is less likely to survive as long as others with two or more components. Intimacy is essentially how close you can get with your partner in the emotional sense, creating a feeling of deep connection. Passion is what drives the physical aspect of the relationship. And last but not least, Commitment draws the division between short term and long term relationships. 

Through the course of your relationship, the balance of Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment will change. This is perfectly normal!

The third and final approach to the study of love is the one that you are probably the most familiar with (well, because we did it in class): The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. The Five Love Languages consist of Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, and Physical Touch.

What is really interesting to our generation is that most of us prefer Quality Time as our love language. Perhaps we are so caught up with school and extracurriculars that we don’t get as much time with the people we love. Being there in the moment with somebody is meaningful to us because we take time out of our days just to be with that one person. Personally, I scored the highest possible score in this category.

Another interesting thing is that males tend to score higher on Physical Touch than females. However, this does not mean that they are more touchy than females. It could just mean that they like little pats on the back or a slight touches to show emotions.

If you want to find out what your love language is, click the link below. 

https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/

Now that you have learned the three approaches to the study of love, let’s see how you can apply it to real life! Hopefully, this blog has helped you understand the way you love. See you next time and keep me updated!

XOXO,

your fave blogger 😉

 

“Love Styles – Truth About Deception.” Love Styles – Truth About Deception, www.truthaboutdeception.com/relationship-issues/love-styles.html.

“Love.” Robert J. Sternberg, www.robertjsternberg.com/love.

Rafter, Mark. “Love and Loss.” 2013.

Regan. “General Theories of Love.” Sagepub, 30 Oct. 2002.

“Triangular Theory of Love.” Hofstra University.