Over winter break, I was sitting alone in terminal B (I think?) of Boston International Airport waiting for my flight back to Chicago to finally begin boarding. But, being for the fact that I was super quenched for water and knowing that I’d be flying back via Spirit who rudely does not provide any complimentary drinks, I quickly bought myself a big bottle of water and trotted back to my seat at the gate.

But, as it turns out, this was when disaster struck. 

No, it wasn’t like my plane just sporadically decided to blow up or the sky just suddenly started falling from the ceiling. It was worse. Much worse. I. Couldn’t. Open…. my overpriced bottle of water for the life of me.

Yes, and don’t you worry, I did start by trying the normal method (twisting the lid, duhhh) but it really just didn’t want to move. Okay then, I guessed, I’d try a different method. So, I wrapped the cap with my shirt to twist it and EEEEERRRRRRRRRRRJGLKJSLFKJDSLKJFD (clearly the textual embodiment of the pain my shirt and I went through) and it (still!) refused to budge.

Welp, it was when I just assumed the water didn’t need me anyways.

And so, after a hard five minutes of physical torture. I basically gave up. But suddenly, this kind stranger walked up to me and offered to help me. Heck, of course I took her offer and boy, did she open it with the most minimal effort required.

Ouch.

Yet, this pain that I experience from these moments like these aren’t really a surprise to me anymore. Sure, there comes along the occasion where my lack of muscle has created unavoidable, embarrassing situations like losing every single arm wrestle I’ve ever competed in (throwback to that airband practice where I lost to even the self-proclaimed “weakest human on the planet” @allison), the occasion where I couldn’t manage to lift a simple mirror up the stairs, or even the time where it resulted in the endless barrage of family jokes poking fun at my singularity due to my lack of masculinity. But yet, regardless of these situations, I’m still not offended by these events. Instead, I actually kind of embrace them!

Specifically, I love my twiggy arms and its apparent lack of arm strength. It’s honestly what most-definitely defines who I am and so, I’m here to share some of my reasons on why I love my non-existent arms and why you should love yours (or just skinny arms) too. 

1. 

   Being a stick has this amazing wonder factor (and, of course, clout) of being a feat of bio-engineering! Like if you just put some thought into it, you’re kind of like the pyramids of Giza (yanno… one of the 7 ancient wonders of the world, wider on the bottom, smaller on the top, that kind of a deal?) and you really just defy all reasonability. And, from an evolutionary standpoint which prioritizes wider hips or shoulders for the females and males respectively, it’s just really weird that someone like (possibly) you or me have shrunk down to this form. Be proud!

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2. Having these thin arms really provides additional utility to your abilities. By having the opportunity to really be able to squeeze your arms into those small spaces (i.e., behind a coach, into the sides of the car seat, etc), you’re able to access those weird places with ease that your thicker armed friends sadly cannot (sucks for them!).
   

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3. 

   You also don’t have to do lifting! Like remember the times when your friends ask for help to lift something heavy like a coach! Welp, if you’re in a situation like me, you can offer all you want but the only response you’ll ever get would be “nah, is there anybody else that can help?”

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4. There’s also the factor of approachability. Because of this severe lack of muscle that we due experience on the daily, we never look intimidating! There is no fear from the opposing party that you’ll suddenly beat them up!
   

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5. Then, most importantly for me, these twig-like arms are godsends to us runners. Since the upper body strength isn’t really anything that’s needed in running, it’s basically just dead weight you need to propel with each step.

But now, even though these are steller reasons why you should possibly consider slimming down, there’s also a couple of hardships that I experience on the daily that you should try and keep in mind.

1. It’s really not attractive to the ladies. As I’ve come to learn, these arms just ooze inability or inconfidence (or something I guess, what do I know, I’m a guy). But honestly, y’all really gotta change your standards or something peeps! It’s the 21st century and we still somehow got double standards for both guys and gals.
   

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2. You really feel useless on occasion. Like who wants to the one that can’t even open a water bottle?
   

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3. There’s also no ability to defend yourself if you get into trouble. Like if you do… oof, you’re basically dead (this is why you run!).
   

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4. Finally, on a more serious note, there’s also the slight problem even in today’s society with my body type. In general, the stereotypes that form around masculinity and my evident lack-of truly results in some awkward complications within social situations and it still warrant some disdain. But hopefully, as rights and equality continue to even out, so will the possibility of male expectations for having petite arms!

Now, while I do see the utility and versatility of having some meat on my bones on the upper body, it’s really not needed in life. But, just keep in mind that there still needs to be a bit of balance. Like if you wanna be me with dem weak arms, it might be a good idea to at least compensate with your legs. This way, you could be a speedy man who can run from danger, just like me.

So just the other day, I plopped myself down at my signature small-cafeteria table, just like what I would’ve any other day. But this day, as it turns out, would be a little bit different. Specifically, instead of participating in the playful banters that rallied between my friends and having those ooo-ing reactions to their witty roasts, I just sat there and remained disconnected from my buddies.

Now, knowing me, you might be wondering “uhh… did you go to sleep at like 2 and just is dead inside?” or “did someone not respond and you’re clearly overthinking and panicking about your life choices?” Well, just for clarification, the answer for all those is yes and yes but that’s not the true reason behind why.

Instead, while I was sipping away at my cool, carbonated beverage, I found myself stressing about what I should write about for my blog. Like should I even write more about my overthinking and overreacting? Maybe I should give some satirical relationship advice from a lifelong third-wheeler? Or possibly should I even divulge my secrets to becoming that black hole you see me as at buffets? But, the more I thought about it, only one possibility surfaced. None, absolutely none, of these ideas would even have the possibility to compete, or even compare to @nicole’s last blog (and her massive 20+ comments).

But, funnily enough, guess who decided to waltz up right then and there just to insult my beverage with a (louder than normal) “disgusting”.

You betcha, it was Nicole. With her two eyes, she spied my LaCroix from, I swear not, the other side of the small-caf. So, just for all you haters out there who somehow develop eagle eyes every time I pull out this beautifully designed can of LaCroix, here are some reasons why LaCroix is secretly (by far!) the far superior drink.

Taste

First off, the taste of LaCroix is delectable. Sure, it might just be a carbonated beverage but you got the bubbly, fizzy, refreshing texture of any other soda but also the coolness and crispness of the fruit. It’s like drinking a carbonated fruit flavored beverage without the extra sugary weight!

And, refuting all the complaints that iT’s nOt sWEeT and It TAstEs lIkE cArdBoaRD, just because it isn’t sweet doesn’t mean it can’t have flavor! And, even though it might not “taste” like something, it’s chock full of aromas (which, by the way, contribute 75-95% of our entire sense of taste) which leads your mouth (and I guess nose) to tingle with delight.

Heath

Secondly, LaCroix is by far one of the healthiest beverage alternatives in the entire drink market. In comparison to any other, soda, juice, or sports drink beverage, there is no sugars, no carbs or anything even remotely like that! Instead, there’s a whopping two ingredients on that ingredients tab: carbonated water and natural flavor.

So, do you know what that means? No processed sugars to make you fat, no sodium to raise your blood pressure, and no artificial ingredients to (*AHEM* for all those asian parents out there) to cause cancer. It’s literally the perfect drink for even a runner like me who’s too self-conscious of unhealthy foods.

Variety

Now, by far one of the best parts of LaCroix (outside of the taste, I mean) is the sheer variety of flavors that they offer! You got your amazing citrus kicks from the traditionals like Tangerine and Grapefruit to the tropicals with mango and Cherry Lime. They even have a cola flavored one! And, if those aren’t your cup of tea, there’s still 23 other flavors to choose from (for a total of 27)! Like personally, I’m not the biggest fan of the Pineapple Strawberry flavor but boy do I love my tangerine.

Cost

And finally, to croix it all off (ha, get it), it’s the cost of the drink. Unlike traditional sodas who usually go for around $1 per can, LaCroix starts at $.89! And, if you really decide to load up on this wonderful drink, you can get a crate of 24 for less than $10 at Costco (like me)! And, because of this deal, even an asian parent is willing to cut you a bit of slack and buy you a box.

So, if you’re a chronic hater of LaCroix or just someone (@lavina) who tried one sip and declared your hatred, please reconsider this wonderful drink. It’s delicious, it’s refreshing, it’s healthy, it’s varied, and it’s cheap! And, most of all, come join the better side of the refreshment world with the superior drink and just soak your mind with that crisp can of LaCroix and continue that battle wherever you are for lunch.