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In researching for my voices project, I explored how relationships were portrayed throughout different forms of media, including art, literature, popular music, and even romantic movies. The two most influential ideas that I learned from my research were as follows:

1. Women were leaders in defying social norms and gender roles- some in quite similar ways. Both Frida Kahlo, the famous Mexican painter, and Edna Millay, the prominent American poet, advocated for female liberties within their relationships with men. They also championed sexual liberty as well, both women partaking in either open or extramarital affairs. They challenged the conventional perspectives on women’s roles in a patriarchal society that confined women to motherhood and marriage, inspiring entire generations of women to redefine their female identity into something more complex and truthful.
2. So much can be learned from the evolution of songs from the 1980s until modern times. When I was researching relationships being depicted through music, I found that some 1980s songs actually promote unrealistic expectations of love. It was perpetuated that love will conquer the trials of any relationship, and that there was that one true love, a one true soulmate. However, contrasted with songs like in the album Hopeless Fountain Kingdom, by Halsey, relationships go beyond these romantic tropes and become more nuanced. With the recurring waves of feminism following into the 21st century, more sexual and gender identities are represented in music and pop culture, with women embracing a more empowered role that is in control. The main characters of Halsey’s imagined world experience a loss of their true selves, yet as much as they choose this path for themselves, they choose to let go.

From my project, I hope that others learn about both the positive and negative effects of media representation of fictional relationships. This topic is incredibly nuanced, especially among various generations of people and social evolution. The tropes continually expressed in the media and pop culture, conveying the model romantic relationship within heteronormative standards, have long been a part of patriarchal societies. As an ever changing society, we should try to move beyond this tradition of achieving perfection within relationships and expecting those within a relationship to act according to those tropes.

In my time at NNHS, I have learned that hard periods of life come at the most inopportune moments, and that the only thing I can do is to persevere through those moments. High school is absolutely not the idealized version that I have seen in TV shows and movies. It is not riddled with overly enthusiastic students circulating their lives around drama, but more realistic. There are those that are so driven by passion and others that burn out after working so hard for so long, that may have very little passion. Nor was my high school experience full of Euphoria type issues with substance abuse and somehow very little studying. In order to survive, I had to acknowledge my academic limits and find some spark of energy within myself to keep on going.

For future NNHS seniors, I hope you do not romanticize high school, to really explore how you work and interact with others. Find something that you are passionate about, things you truly love without pretending to, and commit yourself to them. At the end of the day, these things, no matter how big or small, will be a source of energy for a last push towards the next step in your life.

Video link

A couple of years ago, I reentered ballet after nearly a year of recuperation from ankle injuries. With this studio, I was involved in all of the performances and classes necessary for my level, believing that a physically demanding ballet class almost every day would be a brief respite from intellectually demanding academics. Every step in class was grunting and bearing the physical labor, nothing more than hard work. Yes, I could memorize ballets and combinations, do them with some degree of proficiency, but my progress was slow. I had a good understanding of what to do, yet much less the how.

By January of this year, I had transferred to a new ballet school, with more intensive and higher quality training. It is not only the better training that has allowed me to really grow as a dancer, but also the development of an artist mentality- how specifically I will do steps and how I could better portray movement more cleanly. I have learned again and again under training of the artistic director that ballet is intensely cerebral, requiring real thought and careful consideration to connect with my audience.

For our spring performance, I was given the opportunity to showcase my learning and growth in various repertoire, including excerpts from the ballet Paquita. In the first few rehearsals I had with the artistic director, she said one word at most to me. And the quality of my performance remained the same- stagnant. There was one conversation I had with her on a Saturday afternoon after ballet class. She had wanted me to simply think through my entrance onto the stage. How I unfold my arms to the audience, and go through a centralized first position to shift into any port de bras (carriage of the arms). One must always work through a central position, be it first or fifth position of the feet, or first or second position of the arms- there is always a central place to where the arms return. Being consciously aware of this center and passing through it allows the dancer to be in constant control and balance, creating clean lines and transitions.

The mechanics of ballet are driven by the anatomy of the muscles surrounding the joints as well as the knowledge of how to activate them. In another ballet class more recently, the artistic director gave a lecture about passe (meaning “passed”) and what muscles to feel when reaching into an extension in derriere (to the back) attitude. Rather than allowing the knee to drop or thinking of reaching around and overcrossing the leg, one must lift the knee up in the passe and feel a very slight pelvic tilt allowing the hips to dip forward and create space for the leg to be higher in the back. This lesson can also be applied to pirouette turns as well- the feeling of lifting up versus spinning around like a top. Lifting up allows the dancer to keep their body on a singular axis of rotation.

Additionally, for even a single pirouette turn, the principles of physics apply. One guest teacher gave a lecture about the very subject, explaining the delicate balance of forces culminating in multiple successful rotations with one preparation. There is this whole coordination of the plie in fourth position, and movement of the arms to generate the momentum for the turn. What leads to the torque is the opposition of forces is the push off of the feet from the floor in opposite directions. That distance between the two feet on the floor, rotating away from each other generates those Newtonian equal and opposite forces which are then carried toward the supporting leg in the turn, on one point- one axis- of rotation. The larger the distance (up to a human amount) between the feet, the more torque would be generated versus from a closed fifth position.

Moving simultaneously, the arms that generate momentum should be held rigidly and at an appropriate distance from the dancer’s torso. The farther away the center of mass (influenced by the arms) is from the axis of rotation, the slower the dancer would turn. In contrast, the closer the arms are held to the body, the conservation of angular momentum applies and the dancer would rotate much faster. It is the comprehension and conscious acknowledgement of these principles that allows dancers like myself to more quickly and efficiently bring our body weight onto that axis of rotation and churn out successful pirouettes.

As a result of truly studying and analyzing the mechanics and movements of ballet, I am learning how to refine my dancing while improving my technical and artistic abilities.

Observe the image. At the work meeting, the man in the purple tie is late due to a car accident, and the man in the red tie thinks that the purple tied man has poor punctuality. Yet, when they switch roles, the purple tied man makes the same judgement about the red tied man. Many have certainly misjudged others. Often, people’s perceptions of others’ behavior are clouded by an unempathetic and egocentric lens. And truly no one is an exception.

Still, it helps to learn about how people behave and function, considering the objective over the subjective.

This past school year, I have been taking AP Psychology, a course that has allowed me to understand the human mind and development, even applying what I learn to my life and observations of others around me. One particular concept that has resonated with me in our most recent unit, is the fundamental attribution error- the tendency for people to overestimate the influence of dispositional or personality traits and underestimate the influence of situational explanations when observing behaviors in others. Easily,  people- especially those from more individualistic countries like the United States- find fault in others’ personality versus assessing background factors. 

Case in point, I was recently shopping with my mom at a mall, and we met a highschool senior and her mother desperately trying to select a prom dress. My mom, who loves socializing, told the mother that her daughter looked absolutely wonderful in the last dress she fitted. The woman replied, saying that she was scrambling to find a nice dress, and that she appreciated the compliment for her daughter. Seconds later, her daughter came out of the dressing room, sulking, and brushed past us towards her mother, not so much as muttering a “hello.” The daughter gave her mother the dress, crossed her arms, and walked away. Later, when we were seated in the shoe section, my mom commented on how the daughter is rude and not as nice as her poor mother who is trying her best to please her. And thus, the fundamental attribution error is in play.

Realistically, the daughter could be exasperated from the fruitless search for prom dresses, and only acted that way as a means to cope with her feelings of rage and her exhaustion. She typically may not act that way, yet under the stressful circumstances, she acted within a human capacity and demonstrated her feelings in her actions. Regardless of who was in the right or wrong, this situation has indeed contributed to the behavior of both the mother and daughter.

To discover more about the nuances of the fundamental attribution error, I read a 2018 article written by Dr. Saul McLeod, explaining the background and history of this theory. McLeod writes that in 1967, researchers Jones and Harris hypothesized that people would “attribute apparently freely-chosen behaviors to disposition (personality), and apparently chance-directed behaviors to a situation” (2018). The researchers conducted an experiment in which participants listened to anti and pro Fidel Castro speeches, and were requested to rate the pro-Castro attitudes of speakers. It would be revealed to the participants whether those giving the speeches had selected their political position based on personal choice or on the whims of a flipped coin. It was revealed that even with the speakers whose positions were chosen by chance, participants rated the pro-Castro speakers as having a more positive attitude for Castro than those who were anti-Castro, thus suggesting that people cannot see others as simply completing tasks and were inclined to assign a sincere disposition to the speakers (McLeod, 2018). 

Even beyond the fundamental attribution error, we are commanded by our own biases. In the example I gave of my mom and I, it was rather interesting that she identified with the mother while I gave the daughter the benefit of the doubt, even with my analysis of the fundamental attribution error. It is probably best to keep in mind that no matter who one meets, regardless of how similar they may be to oneself, that they consider the objective situation before jumping to conclusions about those involved.

Works Cited

Mcleod, Saul. “Fundamental Attribution Error.” Fundamental Attribution Error Simply Psychology, 1 Jan. 1970, https://www.simplypsychology.org/fundamental-attribution.html.

Even something from the simplest plié can be difficult to master in ballet, but years of practice will certainly help. However, despite my many years of experience studying ballet, there are some steps that are still very difficult and require the utmost focus and struggle.

 

Turn Tire-Bouchon from Développé Écarté

Tire-bouchon refers to the leg momentarily being in passé, and passing through that position to extend the leg outwards. One variation of this “pencil-turn” is beginning from an écarte derrière position, with the same leg as arm in the air, similar to the one shown in the picture (except this one is on pointe instead of standing on flat with the full foot on the ground). In this picture, the working leg would be the leg to the viewer’s right, same as the arm to the viewer’s right. The left arm would be placed in second position and the standing leg is straight and turned out from the hip, using muscles in the glutes for external rotation. From this position, the standing leg bends in plié, and then the lifted leg quickly folds into passé. The body turns en dedans (that means en relevé- the ball of the foot), or toward the direction of the standing leg. After completing the turn, the leg off of the ground extends into the same position from the start of the turn, into développé écarté. Simultaneously, the arm in second position shifts upwards to fifth position while the arm originally up goes down to second position. While the leg folds into passé, this shifting of arms occurs, with the arm in second position gathering momentum to turn the whole body. The arms then go through first position during the turn, and extend out to the original arm position when the leg returns to its original position. What makes this step difficult is the coordination of the arms and the legs, as the arms have a longer distance to travel, but the whole body needs to turn at the same time and arrive in the final position at the same time. Plus, both the standing and working legs must be turned out, the foot in the air pointed, the arms held, shoulders down, core engaged- all of these fundamental rules applied. This step cannot be done correctly without being connected with one’s center and constantly thinking about how to push the floor away to elevate and lengthen the body.

 

 

Entrechat Cinq and Six

The image to the right shows the sequence of an entrechat quatre, which involves crossing the feet from the fifth position, out, and into a fifth position with the other foot in front. There are two categories of entrechat jumps: even numbered and odd numbered jumps. The jumps are counted using both legs. In this example, we start with the right leg in front. The even numbered jumps like in the image are counted (1) legs open, (2) right foot crosses back and left foot is front, (3) legs open again, and (4) the legs close back to fifth position in the air with the right foot infront again. Hence, the quatre, or four, count. Even numbered jumps are landed with both feet in fifth position plié. For odd numbered jumps, starting from the fifth position, the ending position would be on one leg. In entrechat cinq, the count is (1) Start from fifth position in the air, right foot infront, (2) open legs, (3) Cross left foot in front of right foot in the fifth position, (4) open legs again, and (5) cross right leg infront again and land in coupe derrière, with the left foot in coupé. The same count can be done for the devant (front) position, with the left leg landing on the ground and the right leg in coupé. For entrechat six, since it is even, it lands on both feet. What makes this step more difficult than entrechat quatre is that there is an extra crossing of the feet, making three beats. Since one only gets one plié to prepare for all three beats, executing the third beat is quite difficult for me. Occasionally, I would use a back and forth motion instead of opening the legs outwards to the sides in order to do the third beat, which is improper form. This step requires very quick movement in the air which takes time and coordination to do properly. As for entrechat cinq, the execution is not as challenging, but I could get lost in the terminology difference between entrechat trois and entrechat cinq, both landing in coupé with odd numbered counts.

 

There are many complicated steps in ballet with one common denominator- the application of basic techniques such as straightening legs and a good use of plié that would allow one to succeed. In the next blog, I will share more humbling ballet steps that drive me to work harder each day.

In just a short period of time, the Wordle game, released this past October, has grown exponentially in popularity and frustration of its players. Rebus? Cloth? Tapir? Some of the five letter word answers of this game have left players much like myself thoroughly irate.

Look to the right, at this example of a Wordle. Though the player could have gotten the correct answer on their third try with CRAMP, they used three extra tries to arrive at the answer. The English language itself has an innumerable amount of words starting with CRA, where choosing a process of elimination method could spell out the difference between SUCCESS and FAILURE.

The breadth of the English language has not been an ally to my own playing. Often, surrounded by peers in the passing period (sometimes spilling out later) into AP Literature, I have found myself the victim of the four to five try range, whereas my “friends” at my table would reveal their glistening two or three attempts- yes, I am talking about YOU Shay! These peers would try to encourage and comfort me when my crazed desperation began to surface each day of playing the game, to no avail. I was left vexed by my inadequate skills in applying basic linguistic knowledge, and subjected to condescencion. Everywhere I look, on Instagram, in class, online, I see people showing off their few attempts at the Wordle; I wonder whether I am surrounded by geniuses or if I am truly the one lacking the braincells.

One day, I decided that I would change my daily fate. There has to be strategies to outstep the sadistic New York Times’ literary trickery. I consulted one of my table mates and fellow New York Times conspirator Shay to see how I could improve my process. She gave me the advice of using a better starting word- something like “adieu” or “audio” to test popular vowels. Shay said that the first two guesses were the most important. Fueled by this newfound wisdom, I put the strategy to the test, resulting in my first ever three attempt game. At first I was thrilled to use this strategy, but over time, my scores began slipping back into the dreaded four to five zone. I needed more tips.

Online, I found that the New York Times actually has some guide for help, titled “A Collection of the Best Wordle Tips and Tricks” by Alexis Benveniste and Jackie Frere. Despite my reservations about the Times itself, I know that it is a reputable source; Besides, what better source to beat the game than the owner of the game itself?

One of the strategies listed was the one Shay gave to me: use words with many vowels like “adieu” or “canoe.” Some other popular words are “table,” “tread,” and “steak.” Beyond that, there are many divergent schools of thought. Some believe that it is better to start with the same word every time as Benveniste and Frere say it “can give you a baseline strategy for every game… you might pick the right word on your first try.” Some social media users have actually created a statistical analysis on letter frequency, which is worth a try looking into as well. Another strategy- which in my opinion is less advisable- is to start with a different word each time playing the game. John Green was interviewed, admitting ‘“I know this is not the ideal strategy, or even a good one, but I like it…I usually get it in four…”’ (Benveniste and Frere, 2022). To escape the four to five range, I was sure to avoid this strategy and beat John Green.

The process of elimination is a large part of the game, and can be furthered by selecting two very different words in the first two attempts. For example, when starting with “adieu,” guess “tryst,” “shore,” “torch,” or “north.” Something that includes other common vowels or consonants that would reveal even more information than a guess that is limited with the letters from the previous guess. Though the results may not be as exaggerated as the picture to the left, it is definitely beneficial to use this strategy.

I attempted this strategy for one Wordle game, beginning with “adieu” and choosing the word “tromp” as it is common letters t, r, m, and tests the vowel o.

It is good to observe that this Wordle answer includes a repeated letter e. It is true that repeated letter guesses may be less effective in ruling out letters, but could also test different spaces for where a yellow letter could be located in the word (Benveniste and Frere, 2022).

Many times, I found myself stumped by my next guess- which word would reveal the most information given the tests in my first guess? Like my peer Shay, I decided to use pen and paper to brainstorm- an easier way to visualize words and letters. I filled post-it notes with possible and improbable ideas, yet in the long run I was able to make more educated and effective guesses.

With these strategies, it helps to constantly refine my method and try different strategies to see which works the best for me. Keep in mind that the game involves a fair amount of luck and even the most advantageous starting words can lead to all eliminations.

Honestly, beyond all the strategies and exercises of patience, the best part of playing the game is the connections I found with other players. After all, Wordle is something to be enjoyed and shared with those that appreciate it as well. The memories of ranting and raving, the frustration, and more were not shows of hopelessness. They were treasured tokens of the bonds forged with friends over a simple word game.

“The Second Coming”

Turning and turning in the widening gyre   

The falcon cannot hear the falconer;

Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,

The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere   

The ceremony of innocence is drowned;

The best lack all conviction, while the worst   

Are full of passionate intensity.

 

Surely some revelation is at hand;

Surely the Second Coming is at hand.   

The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out   

When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi

Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert   

A shape with lion body and the head of a man,   

A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,   

Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it   

Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.   

The darkness drops again; but now I know   

That twenty centuries of stony sleep

Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,   

And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,   

Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

– William Butler Yeats

 

Following my first read of “The Second Coming” by William Butler Yeats, I was lost when attempting to decipher the various symbols in the poem- the sphinx, gyres, and falcons out of earshot. However, what I could determine was that the general “plot” of the poem transitions from a description of the chaos and downturn that the world is experiencing to a foretelling of the future. The speaker- possible being Yeats himself- explains how human civilization is on a path of destruction where the antithesis of Christ emerges, as I interpreted from the final line, “slouches towards Bethlehem” (22). The historical context surrounding the poem could give the reader more perspective as well; the poem is written in 1919, around the conclusion of World War I, where the world was indeed spiraling out of control. Seeds from the harsh war reparations on Germany would sow the seeds for World War II, with the fierce pursuit of power and influence of the west spreading east.

 

With my general lens of the poem, I then looked toward the form and structure of the poem. “The Second Coming” is written in blank verse, which has a somewhat consistent beat, but has no apparent rhyming scheme. The first eight lines are harshly transitioned into the warning of the second coming, which is fourteen lines. While the grouped eight and fourteen lines may simply be to separate the ideas of present and future, I was unsure of whether there is some concealed reason for Yeats’ choice. I turned toward the second stanza, thinking that fourteen lines are really a sonnet. However, this stanza is not written in a traditional sonnet format, with no iambic pentameter present and, more importantly, no rhyming. Since I could not derive much meaning from the form, I turned to punctuation. I searched up a reading of the poem, and found one by TED-Ed titled, “‘The Second Coming’ by William Butler Yeats”.  Upon listening, I remarked that the poem sounds like the ramblings of a fanatic warning the human race of the apocalypse. Looking through the poem, I observed the frequent usage of semicolon punctuation. In the first stanza, Yeats wrote semicolons to divide each statement “things fall apart” and “the centre cannot hold” (2) instead of simply using commas. Given that the speaker is trying to convince others that the “Second Coming” is nigh, pauses between different ideas emphasizes and gives more weight to the speaker’s message. Each comma or semicolon adds to the idea of a Second Coming in which some “beast” arises amidst the world’s chaos.

After analyzing the general meaning and form of the poem, I conducted some research on Yeats to see whether his background would shed more light on the poem’s interpretation. I found that Yeats grew up a Protestant, the Christian minority within Ireland, but was cut off from conventional Christianity by his father’s skepticism, leading him to mysticism and the occult (Independent.ie, 2015). Yeats developed his vision of history and time as a system of interlocking gyres; growth of species and the journey of the souls are all described by the conical geometry of the gyres. There is a yin-yang relationship between two gyres that determines eras of chaos and that of growth and calm, creating a “diamond” and “hourglass” shape (Yeats Vision). 

When rereading the poem, I consequently found new meaning in the first two lines, seeing that the “widening gyre” represented the gyre of chaos, constantly widening its radius. The falconer and falcon would thus be an analogy for how the world is on an inevitable decline. Another question arose from this analogy: if the falcon represents the world and, more specifically, life on Earth, then who or what is the falconer? Given the spiritualist background of Yeats, I determined that the falconer could be God who controlled the world, or some immutable universal force, that “Spiritus Mundi” (12) referenced in the second stanza. Or, the analogy could be even more metaphorical, seeing as how history itself is out of human control- possibly an observation that chaos and destruction are an unchanging pattern that humanity must simply brace itself against. Ultimately, for me, Yeats’ likening of gyres to the falcon and falconer is quite vague, and up to interpretation.

To corroborate the presence of an immutable universal force, was the “blood-dimmed tide” (Yeats, 5). Following the list of events occurring in the world, Yeats uses the imagery “blood-dimmed tide,” possibly referencing the bloodshed throughout World War I. In a less literal sense, the tide, like the ocean, is commanded by a force that is outside of authority- something that is ancient and universal. The use of “tide” provides an insistent and urging tone, but one that acknowledges the futility of acting against a constant, inescapable future. Furthermore, lines 7-8, “the best lack all conviction…” are an encouragement to accept the fate of the world and to not further precipitate the Second Coming. Those “full of passionate intensity” such as western world leaders, who wage senseless wars only contribute to the tide of upheaval that the gyres predict. Though, there is some apparent irony in this statement: the speaker himself speaks with fervor, but denounces those that have that same passion. Could it be true then that the speaker realizes that his own attempt to warn others is also futile? This question underscores the tone of the poem with cynicism and an unsolvable paradox- why try to instruct others on the truth when trying in itself is pointless?

Moving onto the second stanza, I first see the repetition of “Second Coming” and the urgency with which it is spoken. The shift between the first and second stanza signals and increase in intensity of the tone, where the speaker predicts the future in a prophetic vision with even more fervor. There is a transition into an imagery of a Sphinx in the desert, originating from barrenness and conniving desert birds- a moving beast that threatens a coming apocalypse. I was confused why Yeats chose the Sphinx as the symbol of some harbinger of doom, which “slouches toward Bethlehem to be born” (22). The Sphinx was created to honor pharoahs in ancient Egypt, a testament to the power and tyranny of the ruler- someone that was a god and worshipped. The speaker describes that the Sphinx has a “gaze blank and pitiless as the sun”  (Yeats, 15), which is in line with the idea of a tyrannical ruler. There appears to be a contradiction between the Biblical reference to the birthplace of Jesus Christ in Bethlehem and that of a non-Christian “beast” that threatens humanity. The idea of tyranny could relate to the events of World War I, a relentless drive for power that is the very antithesis of what Christ represents. Therefore, Yeats may imply that human nature promotes and supports tyranny and chaos along the gyre’s spiral path- a point not to prevent humanity from doing so, but to allow nature to take its course in the hope that good will return and that the values of a Christ-type figure will return again.

What I find from my overall analysis of this poem is that the symbolism and contradiction that plagues the poem’s meaning. If destruction were to happen in any case, why would it matter that  people try to accumulate wealth and power as in World War I? Why would it matter if someone lacks conviction or is full of passion when history and time are so detached from human control? 

 

Works Cited

“Geometry.” W. B. Yeats and “A Vision”: Geometry, https://www.yeatsvision.com/Geometry.html#Cones.

“Magic, Myth and Secrecy – WB Yeats and the Occult.” Independent, Independent.ie, 8 May 2015, https://www.independent.ie/entertainment/books/wb-150/magic-myth-and-secrecy-wb-yeats-and-the-occult-31207213.html.

“‘The Second Coming’ by William Butler Yeats.” Youtube, Uploaded by TED-Ed, 2 Feb 2019, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IY2oIsA4c7k

Yeats, William Butler. “The Second Coming by William Butler Yeats.” Poetry Foundation, Poetry Foundation, https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43290/the-second-coming.

He has invaded my home for a fair four- almost five- months. He is a fluffy beast, his stomach encased in fat and fur. All gray, from his snout to the tip of his tangled tail, except his glowing amber eyes.

When I was first introduced to him, he was only two weeks old. The tiniest, most fragile being that I ever held- barely a pound in my hand. So warm and curious.

It was during a playful summer in Washington state, where the mountains lifted their faces to the radiant sun, and the breeze tickled the branches of evergreen trees. My family decided to adopt a young cat off of Craigslist- for reasons I cannot fathom- and I held him all the while back to our condo.

Stone, the gray cat, was incredibly adorable, always seeking my mother’s attention. He was strong and confident- curious about the world, which seemed so big. When I left Washington for home, I left hoping that he would remember me, and stay the same.

Now, after several fair months, I have seen that his character has completely changed. Unusual eccentricities have arisen that make him an enigma- an enigma that is almost uncat-like.

During a typical day, he would wake up at the foot of my bed, and wait to be fed. I would rise, then take out their cat food, opening the wet food can on a kitchen countertop. While the other cat, Forest, patiently awaits his meal, rubbing his head against my leg, the gray cat hops on the counter and starts licking the can. Yet, when I place their food down near their water bowl, Forest begins eating and Stone remains with the empty can. Sometimes, I even have to remove him from the countertop and push him toward his bowl. 

He is not awfully bright.

Case in point, he can push, but not pull. When he enters a room, he can easily push open the door. However, when he attempts to exit, he cannot figure out how to pull open the door; instead, he hopelessly paws and scratches at the door until I become so annoyed that I open the door myself.

Stone, most of the time, lounges about the house, but in the strangest positions. Normally, a cat would sleep on their side or curled up on their stomach, resting on their paws. The gray cat, like a human, sleeps comfortably on his back, toes curled and his vulnerable stomach exposed to whatever dangers may come.

Despite these slight eccentricities that I am now getting accustomed to, Stone is just as worthy of an affectionate home as any other cat. He follows me about the house wherever I go, even to the restroom, and sits by me while I work and sleep. His stalking nature is strangely endearing. And, in spite of his clumsy, clobbering nature, he sits as a gentleman would- his delicate manner of crossing his paws or standing in a ballet first position.

It is easy to misjudge this cat, especially when I have known a different, younger version of him. Though, I love him nonetheless as this gray cat is truly sweet at heart and not the sum of small quirks.

I was always instructed to work hard, to keep my head down and the right opportunities will come along. I have been working hard since middle school, and this semester demonstrated how absolutely burnt out and exhausted I had become. “I used to be” phrases constantly pop into my head, remembering the grit and determination of my younger years replaced by the meager will to survive and stay afloat. Throughout this semester, I have learned that the way I operate is not sustainable and that in order to move forward and regain that power of motivation, I have to alter my mindset and practices. Quite honestly, I had truly questioned myself and the purpose of even going to school every day; I faced every class period with full blown despondency. Why do I have to go to a place that makes me miserable? Why does my school experience constantly revolve around stress and fatigue? In retrospect, I realize that the school institution itself cannot force me to feel a certain way- that how I react to the challenges it brings is the brunt of what I experience. Rather than wallow in self-pity, I have to retrain myself to cope with stressors and a workload that, realistically, will never end, especially into college and career life. Whether it be an indepth personal psychological analysis of my burn out or simple meditative exercises, there are some healthier ways to cope with stress and life’s diffculties in general. One of which is seeking help from loved ones and those one trusts.

 

I had a rather busy schedule, especially throughout Nutcracker season- a whirlwind of high stress and emotion. There were several girls at my ballet school who had gotten injured or quit the production, leaving the burden on me to fill many of the second act roles in the ballet. Caught in between college applications, ballet rehearsals, and academic responsibilities, I soon became incredibly lost and hopeless. When I finally broke from stress, I finally allowed myself to be vulnerable to a few of my friends also struggling through the ballet production; I was finally honest with myself and how my commitments and fatigued attitude dragged me down. Without their support and friendship, my life would have been brought to a standstill. For all the rising seniors, it truly does help- even for introverts like me- to establish closer relationships with others, leaning on them when times are tough. I wholeheartedly seek to continue this trend of being vulnerable and somewhat reliant on friends and family in my future college and professional career. This “lesson” of allowing myself to be open to others is something that is sure to help me develop real and reliable relationships that will persist through a lifetime.

 

Even beyond an emotional and mental support system, developing strong work relations with peers can help supplement learning. In my physics class, for each unit progress check, I was certainly stumped with some of the questions. It always amazed me to see how a group of driven students would assemble in the center of the class, working together in order to achieve correct answers. They would pool their knowledge and provide each other with valuable, new insights that allow each individual to grow and learn the material quickly. My brother, a freshman in college, is a testimonial to the fact that studying with others proves useful. Throughout highschool into college, he worked with a group of other students on material in challenging math and science courses; the most effective means of learning for him (beyond personal studying) was through teaching and being taught within a group of his peers. Within next semester and into the next year, I hope to also implement this truth into my learning, developing a new way of studying. In past years, I was able to get by practicing and learning concepts by myself, but given that college offers a new scale of complexity and time constraints, I would also need to maximize my time by studying in the most effective manner.

I cannot help but reminisce about a saying promoted by one of my fifth grade teachers: “work smarter, not harder.” I had never realized the true weight of this message until surviving these first six months of my senior year. Though it is a lesson that I wish I had learned sooner, I will attempt to implement it in the coming semester, and hopefully throughout the rest of my life.

Although I am in the thick of rehearsals for the Nutcracker, I cannot help but look forward to the spring production. I have started looking into some ballets so that I can suggest one for my studio; I found Carmen and Alice and Wonderland.

 

Carmen

I first discovered the ballet Carmen from a documentary about the Vaganova Academy of Russian Ballet, with a small segment on Diana Vishneva. She was rehearsing the role of Carmen, a ballet based on the famous opera, Carmen, by Georges Bizet. The story is set in early 19th century Spain, following the ill-fated relationship between Don Jose and Carmen, a Romani gypsy. What I admire about Vishneva’s performance is the expressiveness in her movements, and the absolute precision of steps that conveys Carmen’s persona. She is this free woman, considered “immoral” back in the opera’s conception, who is strong and manipulative. What she feels and thinks comes to the forefront of her personality, acting in a powerful and seductive manner. Vishneva shows the waxing and waning of Carmen’s interest and the intrigue of her character; she begins with a show of power, then backs away into a more playful mood. She both entices and intimidates, encompassed by the fluidness of her movement and the typical sharp Spanish style. I believe that this ballet would be a great candidate for the spring production as the choreography is not fully classical ballet- it is a different kind of movement that lends itself to a dancer’s individuality as an artist. Like Vishneva, the dancers at my studio can also play a role and learn how to convey artistry beyond the precision of ballet technique. Additionally, the ballet is incredibly passionate, making it fun to rehearse and learn.

 

Alice and Wonderland

This ballet, of course, is based on Lewis Carroll’s timeless tale, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. The online Youtube clips of Royal Ballet’s rendition of this tale was an inspiration for me as a dancer to focus on how to incorporate artistry into technique. In a behind-the-scenes video, it was revealed that Steven McRae, playing the lovable Mad Hatter, had the idea to tap, adding another dimension to the showy character. There is this wonderful whimsy among the dancers and embedded in the choreography that truly brings the story to life. The interactions of characters mainly involve acting and emoting- far more than the technically precise classical ballets like Giselle, or Swan Lake. Again, like Carmen, it is a different kind of ballet. One of my favorite parts of this ballet is the Tart Adage, which is a spoof of the esteemed Rose Adagio from Sleeping Beauty. Elements of comedy add a new level to this ballet, as the Red Queen bends cards to her will, angering her when things do not go her way. Overall, I think that this ballet would be extremely well received among the dancers of my studio, especially with so many significant characters other than the main Alice. Given that an affiliate of the studio had already set Alice in Wonderland in the past, it would provide much guidance in doing this production.

The cool breeze of fall has been replaced by the icy chills of winter. As a ballet dancer, I layer sweaters and leggings, trash bag pants- anything to keep warm. During rehearsals, I even wore socks underneath my pointe shoes to thaw my numb toes. However, there is no substitute for doing a thorough warmup to prime the muscles for exercise and prevent injury. Plus, these warm ups can also be a precursor to flexibility training as well. Here are some of the exercises that I find helpful to warm up.

1. Theraband Exercises

Exercise #1: I tie a theraband around my thighs, near my knees. Slowly, I plie in first position, and straighten my legs. I repeat this around fifteen to twenty times. This exercise can also be done in the other basic ballet positions or even turned in with the knees facing front and legs spread hip distance apart.

Benefit: I find that the resistance from the theraband helps me activate my external rotators and other turnout muscles without doing extreme activity. When doing this basic movement, I can pinpoint certain muscles around my hips and simultaneously work through any misalignment in my form.

 

Exercise #2: With the theraband still tied around my legs, I start in first position. I brush my right leg to the front, going through the ball of my foot to point my toes. Then, I reverse this process to close back into first position, repeating ten times to the front, side, and back. I do these exercises for my left leg as well, and sometimes from fifth position.

Benefit: Doing tendus with the theraband works my lower back as well as my legs, as I have to keep my hips in one line. This exercise also helps me to warm up my feet and ankles, rolling through my foot, and practicing the proper technique for standing on the balls of my feet (releve) and pointe work.

 

Exercise #3: Sitting on the ground, I have my legs straight infront of me, the theraband untied and without knots. Putting one foot in the middle of the band and holding either end of the band in my hands, I point and flex my feet, feeling the resistance in my ankle. One set for this exercise is twenty repetitions. I then repeat for the other foot.

Benefit: This exercise promotes ankle stability and strengthening of the foot, which prevents injury and gets me ready for pointe work. This way, the ligaments and tendons in my foot are not overstressed when immediately jumping into complex ballet movements.

 

2. Stretchband (Flexistretch) Exercises

Exercise #1: I take my flexistretch, or other stretching band- preferably one with two loops at either end- and insert my feet through each of the loops. Laying on my back, I raise my legs so that my toes are pointing toward the ceiling, my legs being a ninety degree angle to my torso. I then open my right leg to the side, so that I am in somewhat of a straddle position, bringing my leg as close to the floor as possible. I then bring my right leg back to meet my left leg, and repeat for the left leg. I do each repetition (right leg and left leg) about twenty times.

Benefit: This exercise I find especially helpful to prepare for middle splits. I also get to use my glutes and even inner thigh muscles to rotate and bring my legs back together. When I stretch for middle splits after doing this exercise, I do not feel tension in my inner thigh and around my hip joint.

 

Exercise #2: With a stretching band or the flexistretch, I insert my feet through the loops and stand next to a barre or tabletop, hanging on with one hand for balance. Beginning from 5th position, I raise my leg through retire, and extend my leg to the front. It is crucial that I maintain proper form by pulling up through my supporting side (the leg not doing the work). I have to keep my working foot pointed and use my hamstring and inner thigh muscles to turn out my leg. The band pulls my leg downwards, but I resist it to extend my leg up and out, gently lowering my leg back down to fifth position. I repeat ten times to the front, side, and back and the same for the other leg.

Benefit: One important movement in ballet is called develope, extending the leg to the front, side, or back, with intentional placement. This exercise helps me to gain strength in my hip flexors and allows me to work on my alignment so that I can perform the same action later in class or rehearsal.

 

3. Ankle Weight Exercises- the weights I use are 2.5 lbs each

Exercise #1: With the ankle weights on my feet, I sit with my legs straight in front of me, turned out in first position. I raise one leg up, turned out, bring it slowly to the side turned out. I then lift the leg back to the front, and lower it back down to first position. I alternate each side, completing fifteen to twenty repetitions of right and left. A variation of this exercise can be done with the non-working leg bent in a turned out position. During the exercise, I try to keep my back straight and flat; sometimes it helps to have a flat wall behind my back.

Benefit: This exercise helps me engage the muscles on the inside of legs, running all the way down to my lower calf. I can isolate those muscles when turning out to the side, and lifting from the side to the front. Training these muscles is essential for movements that require some develope to the front where it is very clear whether the leg is turned out or not.

 

Exercise #2: With ankle weights, I lay on my back with both legs straight and turned in (there is a variation to the front and side where the non-working leg is bent). I raise one leg to about forty five degrees, and lower it back down, lightly touching the ground. It helps to feel the exercise by not fully stretching my leg, feeling my hip flexor instead of my quadricep. I repeat twenty repetitions to the front, side, and back, and to the other side.

Benefit: When I was in physical therapy, my hip flexor strength was evaluated, and was actually quite weak. This exercise has allowed me to feel my hip flexors engage so that when I develope my leg, I can extend instead of gripping my muscles. Strengthening my hip flexors has allowed me to lengthen in my legs and pull up in my hips so that I have less strain on my hip joints.

 

These are only some of the many exercises I have found effective, but it does take some personal trial and error to find what works best. I hope some of these exercises prove helpful in the future.