At 3:00 pm on Thursday, I decided I’d write this blog about something silly and happy. At 4:30 pm, my Uncle Karl passed away.

Sorry, I kind of dropped a bomb there. To be honest, I’ve spent the past hour deciding whether to write this… or turn nothing in. I feel that blogs should be happy, making people laugh, but I decided that blogs are about what’s important in my life, and our lives aren’t always happy.

Despite this, I don’t want to force you all to read a sad blog about my own grief. I want this to be something that is helpful to you, and that you can look back on when you need it. Here are a few things that you can do to help you through the grief, whatever it may be.

Talk to Someone

Now although it might seem like talking to someone about death is the last thing you want to do, it is for me too. I have yet to really discuss the passing away, even with those closest to me, like my family. When I say talk to someone, I mean just talk. Mindless conversations are one easy way for me to feel normal for at least a moment.

When you experience grief, although it’s good to give yourself time to process, conversations are a great way to take your mind off of your pain, even if for just a moment. One blogger, Rosalinda, states that giving those in grief a time to talk and feel normal, and even happy, allows them to slowly return to normalcy.

Do Something Calming

I love to draw. It is probably the most relaxing thing I can think of. Taking time to reflect all while creating an original piece of art. Despite this, I am no Picasso, so I usually stick to adult coloring books. Here’s a great website that you can draw on with your Chromebook stylus, which I found very helpful.

There are a lot of other things you can try, like intentional breathing, writing gratitude letters, or even meditation. Calm your mind from the whirlwind you’re in.

Cry

I’m having a hard time following this one myself. When grieving, we often feel guilt. When my cousin’s best friend passed away, I felt like it wasn’t justified for me to be sad. After a while, I realized that even when you don’t know someone well, their passing can still leave a mark on you.

Although my Uncle Karl lived in California, the bond that our entire family had with him was unbreakable. Even if you don’t have that special connection to the person, someone does, and sometimes that hurts even more. Hugging my dad as he cried into my shoulder is a feeling I will never forget, and sometimes the only way to get through it is to cry, and let those emotions out.

Recognize the Happy Moments

Like I said earlier, we have to face grief. We cry, we grieve, but that doesn’t mean every ounce of happiness disappears.

When I went to show choir after hearing the news, I was devastated. Despite this, I still laughed at jokes and smiled when we ran the dance. I did all of this genuinely because I realized that I need to experience all emotions in this time of change.

Whether it be sadness or joy, we cannot choose what emotions we try and numb. Instead of avoiding the darkness that comes with grief, I think it’s important that we feel everything with all of our hearts. Even though it hurts a lot sometimes, this only means that the good feelings will be as strong as ever.