Different Types of Golfers
In last week’s blog I touched up a bit on one of my sports, gymnastics, so I think it would only be appropriate to talk about my other one this week, golf. I sort of have a love-hate relationship with golf. My dad has always loved golfing and since I was young he’d drag me out to the driving range to hit balls with him. Nonetheless, the weekend trips to the driving range started to turn into trips to the golf course and then eventually to lessons and before I knew it I was a freshman trying out for the golf team. Now, I’ve been with North’s golf team for four years and I wanted to recap some of the types of golfers that I’ve seen wandering around the course in my time there.
The Sore Loser
Playing high school golf you’d think that you might see a couple of freshmen who still throw temper tantrums when things don’t go their way but for the upperclassmen these reactions to losing become much more refined. We’ve all seen them, and they usually fall into one of two categories: the exploder or the sulker. Expect screaming, clubs wrapped around bushes, and much of the fairway digging up as a result of the exploder. Sulkers are quiet and have a hurt expression; they should be left alone before they realize how silly they are. Unless, of course, you just want to wind them up – in which case, do so at your own risk.
The Self-Proclaimed ‘Coach’
You’ve just finished your drive off the first tee, and you hear their approach with dread. They are the golfers who think they know the most (a lot of the times they don’t) and enjoy sharing their knowledge. And if they know how to fix your swing, they’ll be sure to point out where you’re going wrong. They also use overly confusing vocabulary.
Cheaters
Sort of similar to the sore losers in the way that they don’t like losing but these guys are much worse. These characters will emerge as a result of being a bad loser in secret. Sometimes they make it known that they intend to play loosely that day, but sometimes they are law enforcers, ensuring that everybody else follows the rules precisely. You might even see them dropping the odd ball down their trouser leg or shimmying their ball along just an inch or so closer to the hole. The worst part is how bad these people usually are at hiding it. You’re not sure whether or not you want to go through the drama for calling them out but also you don’t want them to have an unfair advantage if it’s an actual match. It’s usually best to just confront them though.
The Explorer
He spends eight minutes searching for each missing ball, and he normally starts his search 75 yards further than where the ball actually landed. You hack through the fescue digging for his ball as he half-heartedly pokes around in the short rough, risking lyme disease in the process. Then, when you’re getting to the next tee, he’s nowhere to be seen because he’s still back at the 6th greenside lake looking for spare balls to replenish his stock.
The Premature Praiser
He’s congratulating the shot as soon as the ball leaves your club. “Great ball,” he says, just as it hooks left, caroms off the cart lane, and flies straight into the window of a house surrounding the green.
Hey Ethab,
This was pretty entertaining, I’m curious to know which golfer you identify with? My guess is the explorer. I feel like golf is deceptively hard and especially if you were on a competitive team or just playing with some competitive people, it would be easy to get frustrated. It seems like something that would easy but I know in my very little experience at Top Golf, it’s a lot harder than it looks. This makes me think about different types of people in the sports that I play, cheer and lacrosse. It would also be interesting to read what kind of gymnasts there are from your perspective.
hey Ethan,
must say, I am guilty of being the premature praise. As someone who has played JV girl’s golf, you can never be too careful with your congratulations. As a caddy, I’m used to the perfect shot arcing onto the green. However, returning to the school season often gives me a rude awakening. Obviously, Ive seen the sore loser, and I’m curious. What is the worst one you’ve seen? I think snapping his driver in half takes the cake for me