Finish this sentence: _______________ is scary. What’d you put? Actually participating for crazy hair day? Going inside a Playboi moshpit? For me, it’s finding a roommate. Or, I guess, was, as I’m lucky enough to be on the other side of it now.
For those of you who are going to college with a mutual friend/acquaintance that you kinda like and get along with pretty well but don’t love too much to the point that living together is going to totally kill the chances of your lifelong friendship surviving for years of college—congrats, you’ve cracked the code. Or, if, for whatever reason, you spazzed out and clicked “random” on the housing contract—this applies to you too I guess. For the majority of people, though, finding a roommate is one of the most stressful parts of the college process and arguably, the most significant. I even joke that I could picture myself at just about any school, but just not with any roommate. Aka people > places but maybe don’t use that logic when picking your future college.
Yet as someone who is going to a school where I won’t know that many people (which is actually a total shame, considering Penn State has one of the best student sections in the Big 10…it’s got rolling admission though so not too late to apply!!), I’ve tweaked out so much over finding the perfect roommate. Which sounds like an unrealistic cliche, in theory, but is actually possible. (We even wear the same size shoe! That’s gotta be fate or something). I think. Hopefully she’s not some crazy psychopath when we move in in the fall.
How did I get so lucky, might you ask? Well I didn’t, because I put in the work. Think tinder meets hinge meets Instagram dms. Really just, so so much fun. Your roommate is oftentimes your first connection to the larger college community and as such, is worth hours and hours of time to select. Trust. I maybe wasn’t the quickest replier off the bat, but I was the heartiest, carefully crafting texts and proofreading just before sending. Especially that first message—make sure it’s solid and have a few people look over it (or maybe even write it for you lol) before you submit. Sorry, I mean send. Albeit, I’m not really qualified to give advice on this as my roommate actually messaged me first but I did spend a ton of time trying to text her back. And every time after that. Until we got to that point where we were genuinely comfortable with each other and now it’s pretty casual like friends. But I believe that status has to be earned.
Which brings me to my second major tip (of two). Be a little fake, we all are. I’m not saying lie about your housing preferences because that’ll just end up screwing you over more than anything. I’m talking, ditch the periods, overdo the exclamations, and overall, just try to be the most approachable version of yourself. Everyone is trying to talk to strangers, an intimidating process in itself, so give yourself (and your future roomie) a hand in trying to make it a little less scary. My friends always quip that I am a blunt texter. Lots of “ok”s and not a single “:)” in sight. So, for the great roomie search, I tried to nice up my texting etiquette a bit and I think it helped a ton in bagging my dream roommate. After the fact, I found out she mass messaged a few girls so why she finally popped the question to me is still a bit of a mystery.
Oh, and that brings me to my first (and only) mistake: staying loyal. Finding a roommate is just like using a dating app, so don’t put all your eggs in one basket. I definitely had the choice to diversify and just didn’t, out of some superstitious fear that if I did the universe would look down on me and magically none of them would work out. But really, I just got lucky. Most of the people you are messaging are probably messing around with other people too, so keep a roster since you don’t know when people are gonna spontaneously pair up. It’s kind of like Bachelor in Paradise.
Anyways, I’ve hit my mental word count so I’ll leave it at that. And if you’re still looking for ideas on what to say, take a look at this page out of my notes app (see above). I cannot tell you how many minutes were logged trying to craft that message but all I gotta say is that it was worth it in the end. Hope you guys have good luck on your roommate journeys too!