Rig·or Mor·tis Bend (noun):
The last turn of the track during a 400-meter race where the finish line comes into view, the moment during which your body seizes up and your lungs begin to gasp for air. In other words, the homestretch.

Before we begin, here’s a delicious playlist to set the mood for this blog. I was going to hit y’all with the super tear-jerking, nostalgia-inducing music but I decided against it- this is a slightly happier one. Not to toot my own horn, but I would say that this mix of bittersweet nostalgia with stereotypical, carefree and upbeat teenage-esque songs is the perfect encapsulation of senior year.

Now, about senior year. I’ll admit, my primary takeaway from this first semester isn’t thought-provokingly profound nor elegantly introspective; rather, it’s this:

Carpe diem. C’est la vie. And, continuing with this trend I’ve set of spewing mottos in beautiful languages, YOLO.

As an almost-second-semester senior, I’ve come to the realization that nothing is as important as you initially anticipate it being. I mean, yeah, strive for good grades, cultivate your friendships, write and (feverishly) rewrite your college essays, do your best in whatever you put your mind to. But just know that no matter what happens, everything will work itself out in the end. I promise. 

B’s (or lower) on your transcript won’t ruin your life. College rejections are (truly!!) blessings in disguise. Breakups aren’t the end of the world (honestly, they’re probably for the better). High school will come and go, don’t overthink it; as with everything, there’ll simultaneously be both good and bad parts.  

First, the bad parts. Here’s a list of arguably not-super-fun things associated with these past four years that you’ll (thankfully) probably never have to experience again after you graduate: (Not to jinx it though!)

• Being unjustly dress-coded for wearing a not-even-that-cropped crop top (one of my friends once got dress-coded for not zipping her quarter-zip-pullover all the way up to her chin)

• Aggressively being jostled around while trying to make your way to class in the crowded hallways (PSA: you are to stay to the right of the hallways. This is absolutely nonnegotiable.)

• Frantically texting your parents to call you out of your fifth period Econ class because you didn’t prepare enough for the test (this isn’t throwing shade- I’m sure 99.97% of y’all have done this before)

• The infamous after-school parking lot traffic (if you have the patience to sit through that, hats off to you; I truly believe you have the power to do anything you put your mind to)

Now, the good parts. There’s also a whole bunch of objectively exciting parts of high school that you’ll probably think fondly back to after you leave the four walls of this building:

• Having an abundance of assigned-seating-chart friends (the ones that you’ll always talk to in school but will probably never reach the point of closeness of being able to carefreely communicate with each other beyond the times of 7:45am – 3:10pm)

• Collective hatred for gym class as a foolproof bonding moment with complete strangers <3 (except for Strength&Performance, which has somehow breeded a literal cult of weight-lifting fanatics??)

• Sprinting back into the school after leaving campus for lunch, with 40 seconds to spare before the final bell rings (50 minutes seems like a lot of time until you’re speeding down Ogden at 1:16pm in hopes of being on time for your seventh period class)

• The gossip, don’t lie! 

Anyways, what I’m trying to say is that you’ll inevitably have at least some memories associated with high school. In this last year, why not try to make the most of it? Create memories- these are the ones you’ll remember 5 years from now, instead of spending late nights futilely cramming for your Calculus test the next morning.

Here’s my rule of thumb: do what you want to do, but also do what you don’t want to do. As the multinational-apparel-corporation Nike so eloquently states, just do it.

Things that you 100% have to do, and probably (hopefully!) already plan on doing in your senior year:

• Scream UCLA by RL Grimes at the top of your lungs in the Dawg Pound at the football games

• Dance in silly little costumes and lip-sync to the greatest memes of our generation with your best friends in Airband

• Obsessively stalk other members of the senior class and risk being reported to the Naperville Police Department for trespassing for Senior Assassins

• And this, this one is important: tell your crush that you like them (this mostly only applies if they also attend North)

  • Listen, this is your chance. In less than 6 months, you can make the choice to never have to see them again. Shoot your shot!!

But, even more than that, do the unexpected/little/random things too: (And do these all without fear of judgment! Senior year has taught me that – and I mean this in the nicest way possible – people genuinely don’t care about you as much as they think you do; everyone’s trying to live their own life, they don’t have time to judge how you live yours.)

• Participate in Spirit Days: Groutfits have always been socially acceptable, but they’ve been especially destigmatized for seniors. Reap the benefits of this privilege.

• Go to the LatinX Dance: Even if you can’t dance, it’ll be one of the best nights of your life.

• Get school lunch: Hear me out, it’s free (for the rest of this year, at least) and it (probably??) isn’t entirely lethal. Try it at least once, you (probably??) won’t regret it. Live, laugh, love Aramark.

• Pop your head into random classrooms after school: Join random clubs that you’ve never even heard of before (even if it’s just for a day).

• Sign up for the Couples dance in Orchesis: It’ll be fun, in a simultaneously ironic and unironic way; regardless Tuesday nights in the Dance Room will be a source of endless laughter, sweaty palms, and jerk dancing.

• Spend time with your family, and at home: These are the last few months before you’re confined to moldy dorm rooms, crappy dining hall food, and constant pangs of homesickness.

• ^But, hang out with your friend as well: There will come a moment when you’ll be surrounded by all of them, at once, for the very last time. The second our tassels are moved to the left, everyone will be set on different paths: envy-incuding vacations in Bora Bora, unpaid tedious internships (for the experience & resume-building!!), minimum-wage retail jobs… So, do Secret Santas, go on late-night Target runs, embrace the essence of impulsivity. 

Senior year may be a year of lasts, but it’s not too late to also make it one of many firsts. So, before that highly-anticipated date of May 22nd, do yourself a favor and seize every little chance that’s presented to you. There’s not much to lose, it’ll be over before you know it.

* Okay, I don’t actually know if the Rigor Mortis Bend is a real term (can any runners confirm or deny??), but I first learned about it from The Running Dream by Wendelin Van Draanen (would highly recommend if you’ve never read it before, but keep in mind that the target demographic is like, 12 year olds). Regardless, I thought the phrase would be fitting for the title of this blog.

Given that we are currently in the peak season of gratitude, I’ve decided to do a complete 180 from the spitefulness of my last blog and spotlight the type of people who I believe have a special place waiting for them in heaven (or whatever higher power you believe in, heaven is just an arbitrary umbrella term in this context). In light of being realistic, I’ve split up my list into two categories: people who I have never met in my life (and probably never will), and those who I do know in my own life (some of these could even be me, who knows 😙).

A list of people who I have absolutely zero connection to, but hope to have the opportunity to dearly thank sometime in the future (then again, six degrees of separation!!):

• New York City’s urban planner (or the entire committee, if it was more than one person)

• • New York City is gorgeous for many reasons, but in particular, I love its layout. Every street has been a) named so wonderfully conveniently (like c’mon, the avenues and streets system??) and b) placed perfectly perpendicularly to each other. If you go onto Google Maps and check out the aerial view of Manhattan specifically, you’ll see how beautifully the streets have been lined up. Whoever did the urban planning for this city, you deserve a raise. (Except if you’re also the same person who set up the NYC subway routes because those absolutely suck.)

• Spotify’s founder (I just looked it up and apparently there are co-founders, but whatever – let’s assume that there’s only 1 very comfortable armchair in heaven)

  • No explanation needed for this one: Spotify is amazing; she’s an icon, she’s a legend, and she is the moment. Except, maybe cut back on the ad breaks? I know this is all a marketing scheme to convert everyone into Premium users, but at this point, it’s a little unethical how many ads are being ruthlessly shoved in between each song that I’m listening to. 

• Steve Jobs, or whoever made Airpods

  • I’m not super caught up on the whole timeline of Apple’s business strategy so I have zero idea who actually created Airpods, but what I do know is that whoever it is deserves everything in the world, and more. Apple, if you’re reading this (I know you are), please stop producing new versions- they’re getting unforgivably ugly.

A list of super cool people could could potentially be reading this blog right this moment, complete with alliteration (not to say that Stevie isn’t lurking on my WordPress):

• College-Ruled-Paper Cherishers

  • College ruled paper is 109284082 times better than w*de ruled paper, and that statement is not up for debate. With the 4.3 total lines that w*de ruled paper offers, what can you even feasibly use it for? 20 bucks that a single haiku couldn’t even fit on there. 

• Dark-Green Defendants

  • As a society, we collectively despised the color green for a while in the mid 2010’s; if you were someone who still loved and adamantly stood by green during those times of unwarranted hatred, thank you. You are a trailblazer in allowing everyone to enjoy the gorgeous hues of forest green in today’s day and age. (I’ll also give you credit for the resurgence of sage green, because it’s like, a dark light hue, if that makes sense?)

• Rapid-But-Not-Too-Rapid Responders-Of-Text-Messages

  • Mind you, punctuality in responses is appreciated, but don’t go overboard with it. If you respond too quickly to my text, you’re now paving way for a full-blown, real-time text conversation that I didn’t sign up for. On the other hand, if you wait a solid 3-5 business days before responding to an urgent question of mine, that’s considered a federal crime in my book. Kidding, I’m one of those people that will accidentally forget to respond for weeks on end- I’m working on it, I promise!!

• Hair-Tie Hander-Outers

  • It’s an unspoken but widely accepted fact that once you lend someone a hair tie, you will never, ever, ever, get it back. If you’re someone who still offers hair ties to those who ask for one knowing that it’s gone for good, you are quite possibly one of the coolest people to exist. I truly wish you all the best in life. 

  • Side note: This also applies to the people who actively make an effort to return hair ties that they’ve borrowed from others.

• Geography Geniuses

  • The fact that you can name all 27 (26? Google gave me conflicting answers) countries in the EU off the top of your head and point to exactly where they’re located on an un-outlined map?? Incredible. Instead of counting sheep to fall asleep, you probably spend your nights memorizing every single geographical fact about Tanzania, and I fully support that. I can’t really tell you why I think geographic geniuses are genuinely so cool- maybe because I personally couldn’t even point out where the Atlantic Ocean is.

• Lyric Listeners

  • Okay, this one is rather broad. I don’t mean just anyone who listens to music: I’m talking about music enthusiasts who take the time to actually listen to the lyrics of songs, especially for the slower/sadder ones. If you’re one of those people who go above and beyond to annotate the lyrics of certain songs, I hope you are the recipient of good karma for the rest of your life. 

  • Tangentially, Genius contributors. I have zero comprehension skills, and your little notes on the Genius lyrics websites are absolute life-savers.

• Oxford-Comma Optimists

  • If you use the Oxford comma, you deserve all the rainbows, butterflies, and happiness in the world. That’s all I have to say on this matter.

To conclude this highly politically accurate blog article, this is just a reminder that there are special places in heaven waiting for everyone, not only for those who fall into the above categories outlined by yours truly. Unless, of course, you are an anti Oxford comma user – enjoy your time with Hades in the underworld.