NAPERVILLE, Il. — North Central College student Brandon Zimmerman expanded his extensive trigger-warning list to include COVID-19 quarantine-related phrases “at-home workout” and “normal sleep schedule,” adding onto his already-robust catalog of panic-inducing phrases like “non-vegan protein” and “remember guys, there’s a blog due on Friday!”
“Look, I just don’t want to hear about people leading productive, useful lives during this difficult time,” Zimmerman said while watching his fifth “Breaking Bad” episode of the day. “As far as I’m concerned, going to sleep at 11 a.m. and waking up at 7 p.m. is a lifestyle that I’ve chosen, and nobody is going to talk me out of it.”
Some of Zimmerman’s closest friends agree, noting that they’ve also expanded their trigger-warning lists during this uncertain time.
“Yeah, I got really tired of seeing posts on my Instagram of people doing body-weight workouts and calisthenics,” commented Samantha Aberdeen, who, going even further than Zimmerman, has also added “getting some sun” to her list of triggers. “God, some people even posted themselves running outside! What are we, cheetahs? I just don’t get the obsession with pursuing anything other than staying at home, eating ice cream, and watching television, like any red-blooded American should be doing.”
While some have criticized “snowflakes” like Zimmerman and his friends for being too soft, North Central College gender-and-inequality-studies Professor Simone Farci notes that trigger-warnings can play a crucial role in maintaining self-esteem.
“Really, the most important part of this moment in global history, besides all the pandemic stuff, of course, is to make sure that everybody maintains a positive image of themselves. We want to ensure that everybody feels like they are beautiful, and loved, and that they don’t have to do ten push-ups if they really don’t want to. If they would rather not hear anything that makes them uncomfortable, they should be able to have that safe space,” Farci said, shortly after explaining her “all-A+’s” grading policy.
At press time, Farci was spotted crafting “I Survived the COVID-19 Pandemic!” medals that she plans on giving to all the members of her class, including Zimmerman and Aberdeen.
“I just think it’ll make a great addition to their resumes,” Farci said.
Two Saturdays ago, on February 22nd, I stepped out of a competitive speech round for the final time in my career. The speech itself was one of my favorites I’ve ever given (it was about a burgeoning feud between Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders), but stepping out of the round, I couldn’t help but feel a bit bittersweet.
A few hours later, I earned my fourth IHSA state title, rounding out four amazing years in the speech and debate community, both within Illinois and outside of its borders. I’ve done a lot of thinking over the past week or so, and here are four lessons about life I’ve learned from four phenomenal years.
A picture of me outside the Peoria Civic Center after my last ever state tournament.
Lesson 1: Timing matters
As soon as he holds up the two, I need to transition into my last point.
In extemporaneous speaking (my event of choice), timing is everything. When you only have thirty minutes to craft a cohesive argument on literally the world’s biggest problems (I’ve come up with makeshift solutions for everything from climate change to civil wars halfway across the world), and a mere seven minutes to deliver that message, you’d best keep your eyes on the clock.
Fifteen minutes to prepare the speech; fifteen minutes to memorize it. One-and-a-half minutes for the introduction. 1:40 for each main point. Thirty seconds to conclude.
Perfection.
Sometimes, timing falls outside your control.
What if you’re the fifth (out of six) speaker, and the judge is already bored out of her mind, teetering on the brink between staying awake and nodding off? It is 8:00 on a Saturday morning, after all.
What if, even after racking your brain for a good five out of those fifteen minutes, you still can’t figure out what to say?
Whatever the case may be, there’s always a limit. Thirty minutes before prep ends. Two months and change before we graduate. Six months until we leave some of our friends forever.
Time is of the essence. Use it well.
Lesson 2:Your Voice is a Tool
“We need more women in extemp.”
The six extemporaneous speakers in the final round at state were all men—something a bit disheartening, considering the fact that all over the nation, women extempers proved their mettle at the highest level time and time again.
When it came time for me to give my state-winner performance, I knew it was something I had to address. On a whim, I decided to add in thirty extra seconds, completely ad-libbed, of the importance of more women competing in extemp, an event about the world around us all—after all, amidst the political strife of reproductive rights, family leave, and sexual harassment, extemp is more important to women than ever.
I had the confidence to shatter the norms of the state performance because I was confident in my own voice. Speech taught me that progress can come from everywhere and from anyone, that even as a straight man I can be an ally and advocate for causes that matter to me, from feminism to LGBTQ+ rights to racism to tax reform to climate change.
You don’t have to be a speech champion (or even be in speech at all) to use your voice. Find a cause that matters and contribute to it. Go to the downtown climate strike, the Women’s March, a March for Our Lives. The future depends on it.
(If you by any chance want to watch my final performance, the video of my last-ever extemp speech is below!)
Lesson 3: Privilege impacts everything
“Yeah so I was at Yale in September, Florida Blue Key in October, Glenbrooks in November, Nashville for MBA in January, and then I’m heading to Kentucky and Northwestern the week after for TOC in late April, before finally going to Milwaukee in May for Catholic Nationals.”
When I broke down the national tournaments I went to last year, one thing stood out: I went to a lot of tournaments in a lot of different states. In other words, I took a lot of plane rides. It goes without saying that plane rides aren’t cheap. And since I travelled nationally under Naperville North’s banner, but without the supervision of the team, I had to foot the bill for all of those trips.
While I would have theoretically been able to compete at the highest level in Illinois without the economic privilege I was born under, there’s no chance I would have the opportunity to ply my trade nationally. Without the financial ability to seek out individual coaches, buy plane tickets, and pay registration fees, even the best speakers and debaters are unable to showcase their talent.
“I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein’s brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.”
Lesson 4: Let it Sink In
In the four weekends leading up to my final state tournament, I had a tournament every single Saturday. That meant five straight Saturdays consumed completely by current affairs and overused vocal cords. It also meant that my speech career came to an end at a breakneck pace—tournament after tournament, without enough time for me to really even take a breather and reflect.
Now that it’s been a week or so, I’ve come away with an intense gratitude for my four years competing in this wonderful activity.
As some of you already know, I’ve written personalized thank-yous, a few sentences for nearly everybody I’ve met on the circuit, both in Illinois and nationally, to show my appreciation for the impact they had on my life. I consider it the best way to show my appreciation, and the time it took to write them is also coincidentally why this blog post is so late (sorry, Mrs. Trowbridge).
Wherever you are, and whatever you do, I hope you all remember to thank those who have helped you, and remain grateful for the opportunities you have.
Four years fly by fast, but the memories? They’ll stay forever.
“If the World was Ending” in a storm of fire and ice, what would you do? Would you grab your favorite “Photograph” of your friends or call a special someone to “Say You Won’t Let Go,” no matter what happened?
When you’re driving with the windows down in the blistering summer heat, do you ever feel like you’re living the “Classic” life of a teenager from “1999?” How about when you pull up to the party and can’t do anything but “Shut up and Dance” on the floor?
Do you ever “Lose Yourself” in your work? Right before that big test, that big game, that big competition, do you reassure yourself that you are, in fact, the “Greatest” in the world?
Welcome to my Spotify account.
While the geniuses over in Spotify’s creative department spend their days formulating mass-appeal playlists—from RapCaviar to Disney Hits to Teen Pop—that anybody with an account can listen to, my Spotify sidebar is filled with an array of homemade creations: playlists that I’ve curated myself over the years, fine-tuned perfectly (pun intended) to my personal preference.
Each of these nine playlists were hand-curated by yours truly. Credit: Brian Zheng
Like the Constitution of the United States should be, my playlists are living documents—out of the 36 songs in my Alternate playlist, 29 of them were swapped and replaced in the last year alone, and only two songs remain from the original iteration of the playlist from June 2016. What I listen to on Spotify offers a glimpse into my life and the world around me: my mental state, my hopes, and my fears.
So if you’ve ever wanted to learn a little bit more about what makes me tick (if you don’t, I completely understand), let’s dive in and explore some of my favorite creations.
The Main Rotation
My daily Spotify listening tends to revolve around five playlists: The Trifecta Plus a Few, Alternate, Slow, Hype, and Movie, each with 36 songs apiece (a nice, square number that clocks in at around two hours per playlist).
The Trifecta Plus a Few
I know, I know. What kind of a name is The Trifecta… Plus a Few? Well, when I first dreamt up the idea in eighth grade, the playlist was only going to contain songs from a select “trifecta” of artists—namely Justin Bieber, Bruno Mars, and One Direction.
It was all fine and dandy until I realized that not all good music in this world happened to be by barely-adult male heartthrobs. So in came songs from Lukas Graham and Train, Taylor Swift and Lorde. As the music evolved, I quickly began to realize that my original name of The Trifecta just didn’t fit.
As my original playlist creation, The Trifecta Plus a Few stands out because it’s, well, actually pretty happy. I mean, my eighth grade self hadn’t been introduced to integrals, aggregate demand, or a Donald Trump presidency! Throughout the years, The Trifecta Plus a Few has remained my go-to playlist for a car sing-along—something you might have caught at the beginning of this post.
Alternate
Eighth-grade Brian soon realized that he had discovered too many cool songs to fit into one 36-song playlist.
Alternate was originally intended as a reserve playlist, where all the benchwarmer-equivalent songs would go and hangout while the starters duked it out in The Trifecta. Of course, over time, that definition was lost, and now, it’s basically my playlist of pop that pretends to have a deeper meaning, which I listen to when I’m too tired to dance (basically always) but not tired enough to go to sleep—meaning that it’s basically my number one choice nowadays.
Slow
Ironically, Slow actually came into existence last summer, a time when The Trifecta should have been ruling with Movie in the wings. Instead of dancing away my teenage worries with One Direction, I sat back and gave in to my melancholy by listening to the slowest pop I could find—and it worked! Listening to sad music was surprisingly sweet, and it led to the creation of what is now my winter staple in the midst of an ever-changing, almost-ending world.
Hype
This one doesn’t have any deeper meaning. It’s straight up hip-hop (mumble-rap excluded). I’m talking Kendrick, Eminem, and Wayne—the MCs that’ll get you amped before the big game or tournament.
Movie
Continuing with the pattern of questionable naming decisions, Movie came into existence after I watched the hit musical Hamilton. Yeah. I decided to bundle the verses of Lin-Manuel Miranda and Christopher Jackson with the lines of Emma Watson and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, creating a playlist that should really be named Movie/Musical/TV Show/Whatever I Want.
Whenever I need some inspiration (or just want to lose myself in the magic of a world that isn’t mine), I’ll put on my headphones and close my eyes.
The Regulars
There are three playlists here that aren’t in my super heavy rotation (I’m probably not listening to these extensively), but occupy pretty regular places in my eardrums: Piano Covers, Vocal Harmony, and Classy. Piano Covers are my collection of pop/cinema music on the ivory keys, while Vocal Harmony is an amalgam of college acapella groups. Niche, but pretty fun to create and listen to. Classy is basically Piano Covers with string instruments.
That leaves me with Películas, a playlist that means “movies” in Spanish and is basically filled with Spanish Disney songs. As you can imagine, it barely gets the time of day. ¡Lo siento, Bella y Gastón!
It’s the first time I’ve ever shown most of these playlists to anybody else—maybe you found something you liked, more likely you didn’t. But considering our taste in music can give insight into our personalities, I think it’s worth it for everybody to take a look at their Spotify, Apple Music, or (hopefully not) Tidal accounts and take a deeper look. You might learn something about yourself.
Then again, I’m just a teenager with nine Spotify playlists. “What Do I Know?”
You might not have noticed, but last Tuesday, November 6th, was an election day. Despite not being the big-ticket 2020 showdown, voters in Kentucky, Mississippi, Virginia, and a few other states got to cast their ballots for state offices.
Whenever Election Day rolls around on the calendar, my life routine changes dramatically. It isn’t because I have to alter my schedule to go vote—I’m still a few months away from turning 18—or because the results will directly impact my future (after all, last Tuesday’s elections had nothing to do with Illinois or Naperville); my life changes because every single Election Day evening is sure to be an unproductive wave of anxiety.
All because of this little website here.
The results of the Kentucky governor race I was following on Tuesday (Credit: New York Times).
Yes, the New York Times auto-refreshing election tracker consumes my after-school thoughts on those periodic Tuesdays. As a politically-active person, I could care less whether the election is for a Pennsylvanian Congressional district or the governorship in Virginia; if it has any sort of political implications for my party, I’m clicking that link faster than you can say the words “hanging chad.” Throughout the night, I’m checking back in, verifying the results on Twitter (I recommend @Redistrict for some serious political punditry) and Vox simultaneously.
Do you see an obvious problem here?
Election Day always comes around on a Tuesday! A school night! Every single time, I’m trying to juggle my calculus/statistics/enter-other-math-class-here homework with my political obsession. My sleep suffers. My workrate slows. Whenever Americans show up to the ballot box, my productivity craters below capacity.
It’s a good thing that Election Day doesn’t roll around too often. At least on every other day of the year, my after-school routine operates at max capacity, right?
Well, not exactly. You see, I might not have been completely honest. I don’t really think it was Election Day that causes me to lose my productivity. In fact, I face a slowed workrate and lacking sleep schedule almost every day.
Let’s run through the highlights, shall we?
If I’m not refreshing the page on the New York Times, I have Thursday Night Football on in the background while I try to figure out the probability of picking two green Jelly Belly’s out of a jar. If I’m not watching Thursday Night Football, Stephen Colbert’s glorious face will be delivering a pitch-perfect monologue as I struggle with my short story interpretations. If I’m not taking in Colbert’s wisdom, I’m singing along to “Ophelia” by the Lumineers as I attempt to read about the antebellum American South.
The brilliant Stephen Colbert delivering a monologue (Credit: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert).
No matter what work I have in front of me, I always seem to find something else to “supplement” it. And it always ends the same way. With a rushed math assignment, a botched lab procedure, or a scramble to finish my environmental science reading.
In other words, it’s not only Election Day that messes up my routine. It’s every day that messes up my routine. No matter what the occasion, I’ll find a way to slow myself down.
Thankfully, I think I’ve found the culprit.
I’m too confident in my ability to do two things at the same time. Here’s my thought process: this Youtube video won’t take too long! I’ll just do my stats homework while it plays in the background!
It’s a direct boxing match between Stephen Colbert’s expertly-crafted jokes and the standard deviation of a random variable. It’s like if Floyd Mayweather stepped in the ring with a high-school JV wrestler. Not exactly a fair fight.
I know I’m not the only one who has this problem. Most of you have probably experienced something quite similar. The root of the problem is almost always the same: humans simply cannot multitask effectively.
As the Harvard Business Review explains, when we try to do too many things at once, our efficiency can decrease by 40% (and almost certainly more than that, if my personal experience is taken into account). Unfortunately for us, it seems like our brains are hard-wired to try and do just that. We want to respond to social cues, like an alert from our phone or that new election result. It isn’t helping that most of us are busier than ever.
So what’s the solution here?
Well, as the video above (and this article) posits, when we think we’re multitasking, we’re actually just switching between two tasks really quickly—so when I think I’m doing my stats homework and keeping up with election results, I’m really just keeping up with election results (with some stats homework sprinkled in between each refresh of the page). Importantly, switching between tasks isn’t an effortless process, either. It takes time and effort.
It gets even worse when the tasks are harder. Let’s say that instead of stats homework, which is generally more tedious than thought-provoking, you’re trying to learn a complex calculus topic, and instead of election following, which only requires a click of a button every few minutes, you’re writing a paper on the electoral college. The result is obvious: even less efficiency.
Of course, the stakes get even higher when you remove yourself from the confines of your room. What happens when you decide to “multitask” by quickly switching between driving a car and answering a text?
The path forward is simple in theory. Instead of fooling yourself by pretending to multitask, set a mental timer (or a real one!) and stick to it. Of course, it gets a little harder in practice. I’ve found that tools like Forest, a productivity app for your phone and Google Chrome, can help you stay within your zone.
It might seem hard to believe, but with few months of focus, I’ve actually been getting more sleep senior year than I have in my entire high school career—something unthinkable back in August.
I guess the beginning of my blog is coming true. Nowadays, the only thing that can mess up my daily routine is the evening of an election.
Or, of course, the evening before a blog post is due.
Works cited:
Atchley, Paul. “You Can’t Multitask, So Stop Trying.” Harvard Business Review, Harvard Business School, 21 Dec. 2010, hbr.org/2010/12/you-cant-multi-task-so-stop-tr.
