What’s the eighth wonder of the world? Asian parents of course! For those of you who have ‘em or for those of you who’ve heard of ‘em, have you ever stopped and asked yourself, “Why do they severely stress over ‘B’s ? Why do they give thousands of homework books? Why do they cook mounds of food that only a sumo can eat? Why do they drive through thunderstorms for cheap grapes?” Not to worry ! We will have all these questions answered by exploring the four types of Asian parents. You will soon discover how their wild practices prove to be beneficial, whether it’s making the next the spelling bee, winning a math competition, running a marathon or receiving a desired coloring set.
Tiger Parents
“Tiger Parents” are hardcore parents who can’t put enough stress on grades. They all strongly withstand the “Straight ‘A’ Policy”. Failing to meet it means goodbye to your beloved possessions. Say you receive a “B” on a math test. It will be made clear to you that “B” stands for “Bad” with the no-cellphone-for-two weeks-punishment. Subsequently, you work your butt off to earn an A. Unfortunately you will still be interrogated with,“Where’s the plus?”. So, what’s all this stress about? Put it this way, earning good grades gets you into great colleges and great colleges gets you into your desired occupation. Therefore, all this pressure is placed upon you so your parents can ensure your stability and happiness in adulthood.
Anubis Parents
The “Anubis Parents” would habitually compare you to other Asian kids around the block. You being the heart that’s weighed against the feather aka the other Asian kids. If it happens that they’re more talented, your parents will pressure you to be more advanced. For instance, it isn’t unlikely of them to participate in bragging tournaments, using your achievements to overpower Amy Young’s enrollment in Mandarin Three. In the meantime, you can find yourself miserably sitting in Chinese school, reading lame stories and writing dreadful essays. When freshmen year rolls by, you are given the option to skip to Mandarin four. Only to be a year away from that sweet AP course. From this, your parents teach you that life is a competition itself. Hence, you must always reach for the top to go far.
The Witch Of The Wok
The “Witch of the Wok” is the mom that’s always cooking. There would only be a handful of days you feel hungry. Let’s imagine the moment you step into your house, your mother rushes to you and urges you to try her bean paste bun. When you sink your teeth into it, you encounter a dry, sticky lump that slowly skids down your throat. Might as well take the bun on like a champ, you don’t want to receive another thirty-minute lecture on wastefulness. When the five minutes of suffering is over, she places three more onto your plate, pinches your arm and says, “Aya! So skinny! Neighbors think I’m starving you!”. All in all, your mom only wants you to grow up healthy and macho. You also may not have grown those five inches or broke the school mile record without her.
The Penny-Pinchers
“ The Penny-Pincher Parents” save money in every possible way . They frequently drive to wholesale stores, buy clearance items, and get refunds as low as a dollar. Say you find a dress, not just any dress, but the dress hanging on a rack at Macy’s. All is well until you find the price tag glaring daggers at you with the $100 sign. When it comes time to ask your parents if you can get the dress it isn’t unlikely that you will get this response: “ Aya! Do I look rich to you? Go check Walmart”. Unfortunately, no dress will ever be the same, especially at Walmart so you just might wound up sulking for a week or so. However, when homecoming rolls by, you will find that beautiful dress resting on your bed! It turns out that all those tid bit savings weren’t for nothing. Although Asian parents may seem a little extreme when it comes to saving, most of the saving they do is for you.
In the end, all these pet peeves turn out to be little acts of love. Despite how annoying they appear, it all pays off when they take a positive toll on your education, competition, health, and satisfaction. What’s really left to do is to thank your parents, whether they’re Asian or not. You couldn’t have been as successful without them. Who knows, you might love your kids just the same.
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