For my independent reading book, I chose This is How it Always is by Laurie Frankel. Because of this, the voice I decided to amplify was the trans voice. My voices project is called A Study Into Coming Out, which focuses on how both remaining in the closet and coming out of it can influence both the person in the closet and the people outside of it.

Link to project here

One of the most influential ideas to come out of this, for me at least, is the idea of coming out multiple times. In movies, there’s a big build-up to this one momentous occasion, where it’s told once; then judgment day is upon them. However, my research shows that just isn’t the case. Sure, there’s the first time to their friends or the time they tell their parents that are really nerve-racking, but there’s also the thousands of times when they tell strangers. Every time they meet a new person, they have to come out. In the words of Simon Spier, “Why is straight the default?”(Allbertali). Another influential idea that I discovered was the idea of existing outside the binary. About half of my sources have to do with characters or people who come out as non-binary. It’s exactly what it says: outside the binary. People are right in that gender is a spectrum, but then some people don’t even exist on that spectrum. They hover above or around it. But just because they don’t exist on the gender spectrum we know doesn’t make them any less valid. There’s a whole world out there of demi-boys, agender people, non-binary people, genderfluid people, and genderqueer people that I didn’t even start to scratch the surface on. There’s so much left to learn.

What I hope people take away from my project is that there may be a million reasons why someone comes out or doesn’t. I also want them to know that their reaction and support(or lack thereof) makes a noticeable impact. Every person within the voices project was supported by someone in their life; that’s how they were able to grow and feel comfortable. When a person comes out to you, they may want you to be that person. On the flip side, if a person doesn’t come out to a larger group, even if you think it may help them, there may be other reasons. Above all, though, it is not your choice. Coming out is something so extremely personal to the LGBT+. By coming out, this person is choosing to announce that they are a marginalized identity, they may be attacked, but they will be themselves. That, to choose to open themselves up to discrimination, is an incredibly brave choice. It’s also one you can’t make for them. Even if you think you are helping someone, or for whatever reason you may have to do it, outing someone is extremely detrimental. All these stories prove it. So, whatever you take away from this collection, at least take away the idea that it isn’t your choice, it’s theirs.

Moving on from the project, I believe the most important thing I learned about myself at Naperville North is that it’s ok to fail. People say it all the time, but no one really wants to fail. However, North pushed and pulled at me in ways I had never been pushed or pulled. It forced me to grow. Sometimes, I couldn’t reach the benchmark. But that’s ok because I knew what I needed to work toward and that I could work harder toward it. Through Naperville North, I was able to discover that failure is not an absolute negative. It is neutral. Only what we decide to feel about failure can make us hate it or appreciate it.

Some advice I would give the class under us is to not be a senior in a global pandemic(seriously, it sucks). Besides that, something you can control would be the effort you put in. Trust me, I know that once you find out where you’re going to school, the last thing you want to complete is some busy work in classes, or write yet another essay. But do it. Even if it’s the worst thing you’ve written because you can’t be bothered, turn in something. Yes, it’s important for your grade, but it’s also important for you. It gives you a sense of finality, of “At least I turned in something”. As every senior has, I’ve been hit by senioritis. However, I kept chugging along, even if it was at the pace of a snail. I urge you to do the same.