Sophomore year of high school I remember being interesting, dealing with classes and the growing concern for my grandfather outside of school. Earlier in the year, I remember on my dad’s side of the family having concerns for my grandfather as he had been going through chemotherapy to try and counter growing cancer he had within him. Although him being a fighter and everyone knowing the risk and all the work my family had to go through was one of the hardest years for me to deal with let alone my family who had been caring for him every day. I could never tell what was hurting him worse the therapy or the cancer itself, but every time I heard about his condition it seemed to be a battle for everyone who was there with him trying to help.

Over time seeing him every once in a while since I could not always be there with my family to see him in Chicago, although any time I was able to go out there to see him I would noticeably and visibly see that he has lost some weight, he started at a little over 180 and standing at just under 5 feet 8 inches and I watched him slowly lose weight to 170 then 155 and then eventually over the course of no less than 7 months I watched him lose more weight to a point where he was weightless than me and I was noticeably almost half a foot taller than him if not more, I remember meeting him for Christmas, he was laying in a bed my father had moved downstairs because he could no longer move by himself anywhere he went my grandfather needed something to help him, to eat, change, shower and he even needed help from someone or maybe two people just to take a shit, I could see the man he once was and his dignity was gone for not being able to handle life’s daily hurdles.             

After having to deal with finals and stressing over class it was a relief, to say the least, that school was finally out and that all my classes were passed I had not a care in the world, felt as if nothing would be able to affect my mood and how happy I felt at the time. Winter break was finally here and all I worried about was how much money I had to spend and what my plans were for this coming holiday break.

To say I didn’t have a care in the world at the time would be an understatement and my friend Micheal had told me before that there was a little get together arranged at a friend’s house we both knew and he asked if I would like to tag along with him. I never thought anything of it and figured what’s a better way to spend my time and especially a new year’s eve with a friend and a house full of people there to have fun. Getting there was especially easy, thankfully my friend’s mom let him take the car for the night, upon getting to the house we walked in and I saw a few people I had seen around school me being me, I looked around for anything to drink and despite there being alcohol I remember I didn’t even want to come close to it because I saw the brand of sparkling grape champagne and whatever other boujie drink they had I was not interested in it and decided it would be best to stick to one of the many two liters on the counter in the kitchen. That lasted not long before Micheal told me to take a sip of what he was drinking and me trusting him and knowing he probably wanted to see the reaction I would have I decided to take a sip the drink and to no surprise it was the poor quality alcohol I had mentioned before.

Although we had fun and we hung around for a few hours and the new year started, I remember it was around 2 am and at the time we decided it’s time to bounce since someone decided to knock over a lamp and it shattered, oddly enough it was only maybe a foot off the ground so I was surprised to see it break. Finally getting home my mother asked “how was the party?” and I replied “it was good” and looking back I should have known because my brother and mom were spending time together, watching a movie downstairs, usually you can find my brother in his room playing any given game at any time minding his own business. But me being me, I went upstairs to my room and decided to hit the hay and call it a night.

Waking up the following morning I hopped in the shower and finished brushing my teeth, then walking into the kitchen to find my mother waiting for me asking how I was, knowing she had something to tell me I asked “what?” she replied with “your grandfather has passed away last night” and knowing it was coming but would have never figured it was going to be the day after new years caught me by surprise. After that, I don’t remember much of the conversation or how the rest of that day after that I think because it didn’t have much significance. The memory is so rich and well-remembered to the point it felt like not long ago event thought before I knew it had have realized due to the assignment that it’s coming fast up on a year since which has blown me away at how fast time has gone by.            

In the chapter Speaking of Courage and the chapter notes, I appreciate the interpretation of how O’Brien wrote the chapter. I believe the 3rd person narrative and how it might open your eyes to more veterans who might need help, and the chapter is not about what veterans who speak out ask for help. The chapter talks about our character Norman who has had a traumatic experience when he was sent off to Vietnam and fought in the war. At the end of the chapter you are left possibly a little confused and wondering why the chapter was even written to begin with, and kinds leave you with the sad facts the norman could not overcome his struggle with, maybe depression, or PTSD or even any other amount of mental illnesses.

Towards the end of the chapter the story takes a turn and you find out the norman hung himself in a YMCA where at the time was a place to help males get the skills they need and be educated enough to be able to recover from anything or just help to get them back up on their feet and get them the attention and the people they need. Witch is a very different YMCA we have today witch is just your local gym to go play basketball. I believed if Norman were able to open up his feeling about the experience he went through maybe there could have been a good amount of help he could have got but like most people he rather keep his secrets or how he feels to himself because he believes no one else will understand since they were not there and did not experience what he had to go thought, so instead he had to deal with everything that happened and with such traumatic experiences I don’t doubt Norman is the only veteran or maybe even war service member who would not want to expose his feelings to people who would not understand.

I believe thew worse part about the whole thing is Norman was alone he didn’t have much, to begin with, and with a mental illness such as his own, it would be more than understandable to slowly feel like you may be losing everything else. If there is anything to take away from this story is that even if people have experiences that you may not have gone thought or may not care much because it did not affect you is one, selfish because even if you didn’t know what to do you should be able to recognize when someone might need help physically or mentally and instead of brushing off any possibility of them showing signs they may need help, two, you should try and reach out to people no matter what even if they don’t want to help you need to be able to be the bigger person even if they may not want help. I think if Norman had anyone there for him then he might have been able to overcome the effects of his experience.

Should women be fighting? I believe this has been a question or debate that has debated over a very long time, and definitely stemmed from cultural beliefs, Probably something like if women don’t go to work, they stay at home and probably a lot of “It’s a man’s job” phrases or arguments that could be said but at the end of the day who decides who is and is not allowed to be sent off to war to fight, if you have the spirit and will to do so then I don’t see why this would ever be a problem at all but I feel this brings up so many other arguments like why when on a boat first to go would be women and children, obviously for any obvious reasons but if the case was if men could choose to leave with them I would bet my top dollar that there would be a number of men that would love to flee a boat if it’s going down or be rescued first, or when negotiating a hostage attack that ask if they would at least release the women and children. Of course, this is a little of the topic but if women are able to go to war then there is absolutely no reason they should not be allowed to join such activities.

Anyone arguing the facts the women should not be able to go off into war, if there are complications and reasons on why she would not be able to join the fight then it should be for the same reasons as any man, I don’t personally know but I am very positive that there is test to see if the military would even be able to use you, if you are fit enough or physically capable of getting what needs to be done otherwise said person should not be able to inlist. The argument that women should not have to experience or witness some of these terrifying events then obviously that should be taken into consideration when debating wanting to join a war.

I believe if more women were to join wars general population would be beneficial for people who think down on women and may not see them as able to do the same things as the men in their country and I think to see the whole gender as generally stronger and maybe more respected to most people and at the very least the ones who believe that they would not be able to do the same as their male counterpart. I would love to read about a badass mother trying her best and fighting a war waiting for the day it could possibly be over to see her family again and having to9 fight to make it home. I feel that alone could be very beneficial to anyone willing to listen to stories or inspiration of women being allowed and able to effectively help out and sacrifice for there country, there would be little more inspiring than that.